Just wanna tell you[!]

HEALED!

2012-01-16T00:03:00.000-08:00

Heyya fellas.

I'm so much sorry for the late posting and the lame blog. So many things need to be handled and I only get 24 hrs in a day. Well this time, lemme tell you how lucky we are for having things that may seem so usual in our daily live.

My school has a tight grip to a tight schedule. We're seven-to-five people, starting the class from 7 am in the morning and ending it at 5 pm. In addition to my busy day, I have to take care for the home since the house keeper had been dismissed. So you can assume when I get home at five, I should check my sister, whether she's in the course or just playing with some kids in our neighborhood. The other thing is about the food. I am no good at cooking, but as time goes by, and my daily life indirectly makes me to cook by myself, so I can finally cook some menu(s). I just need to serve the meal at night, since my sister spends her day mostly at school, just like me.

What I'm trying to tell you here is, there are always hands to help me. My house is more than 15 km far from my school and it takes more than 4o minutes to get there. You may think it is so boring for sitting in the bus for more than 3o minutes, but in fact I found so many interesting lessons everyday from another passengers in my bus. One of the unforgettable stories is when I almost missed the bus when it went faster and thought I would take another bus. But it wasn't that easy, it took 15 minutes more to get another bus and I was desperate. I was clearly sure that I would miss the practical class. But my friends, miracle happened! I guess it was 3 minutes from the time I tried to catch my bus, and it went back! When I got into the bus, I asked the driver, "why do you turn back?" and he replied, "well,the old lady over there(and pointing an old lady in the corner of the bus) told me that you called the bus for more than three times and I couldn't here that. So, why wouldn't I let you get in?" Really, I was really touched and the next thing I found was she smiled at me. "Thank you," I said. I just can't remember how many times a moment like this happen every time I catch the bus and it always make me on time. It may seem so meaningless, but for me, it helps!

One lesson I've learnt is when God puts you in a situation you don't like, He never forgets to put people you'll like.

The second thing I just recalled from my memory is how God put so many blessed people in my life. Since Regina and I are in different classes, we don't see much often like we did in high school. I'm a quite friendly person, but I never think that He will give me so many friends just in hours. My classmates are awesome, they're funny yet smart! One of my best friend is really amazing. She never chooses with anywho she'll make friends with and I learn so many things from her attitude. Racism is an old issue. I promise myself not to make too big boundaries in making friends with people.

The third thing I would like to thank God is my family. My family is very supportive. Though we are separated by distance, calls and emails have tighten our family hood. And I think my older sister is cool! I never think she is that cool, until we talk, laugh and spend some times together. I used to have a fight with her, but now that both of us have finally grown up, we'd rather talk things we don't get. Again, this may seem nothing, but for me, since my mom passed away, people keep talking that my family is no longer that close because mother is just like a bridge for everyone in the family. Indeed, my dad keeps calling us and we get closer. He's so funny and his jokes always make my day

Did I tell you about my lil' sister? Well yeah, she's being a good girl too. Her grades may not be that excellent, but the way she behave every day really impresses me. She's acting just like a "little woman". Young, yet wise. She did the simple house work, like doing the dishes by herself. She becomes more disciplined in school. I keep telling my sisters that three of us are actually the Indonesian version of "little women",LOL!

I've finally realized that God give you so many blessings when you do your part heartily.

Thank You God for loving me so much more than I deserve

I'm Recently..

2011-10-08T22:07:00.000-07:00

Thank you for keeping in touch with my blog while I was away.

Okay,so this post is actually about my life at college. Things change rapidly and sometimes I still find difficulty in positioning myself.

Here we go,buddies!

Attending medical school multiplies your burden. Really. The lecture, the practice, the assignments, the bla-bla...

Self-study is the most important key to success here. Since I attended private schools which direct the students what to do, it's a lil' bit harder for me to change the way I study. The bad news is I finally realize what people said about the negative of private school;spoon-feed.

So here's the deal, I have to catch up the assignments and keep my eyes opened while lecture's being delivered. I finally make a simple research making my own self as the sample, with the title "What Makes You Sleepy During The Lecture".

And my hypothesis is about nutrition, sleeping habit, and self motivation.

Yes,I skip breakfast a lot.

Second thing I have to deal with is the book which are so thick.

You have to carry 2 kg weight books on your bag. I've been planning to use a hand bag like other uni students on tv, but apparently, it won't never happen to me.

So, see ya on my next post :)

My Life After 3 Years Passed

2011-08-26T12:37:00.000-07:00

Heyya,folks! It's 2 a.m. in the morning and I'm still up.

Yeah,since I got nothing to do during my holiday so I just end up in front of computer, browse funny tweets, dig a facebook group of my new campus and eat a lot.

Gee,I think I've gained too many pounds!

Okay, ehm *back to normal voice*

So, let's have a flashback about my wishlist I created 2 years ago. Sounds stupid, but really, I just read this left blog and found that I was more cheerful and talkative than I am. I also found some broken promises I made, and my not-so-getting-rid-of-him.

First,this is my wish list :

1) I've been so many times to Parapat and it's like my second journey every time my family trip get bored.

2)I LIVE AT MY OWN HOME. I don't go to a dormitory or rent a room. I go to USU which is still located in Medan. Though I hate being told as 'daddy's girl' cause I ain't going abroad to continue my study, I have my own reason to stay here. You gotta stay on my blog if you want to know why!!

3)I don't eat martabak as often as before. My dad moved to a small city named Sibolga. And I have no one to eat martabak with :'( I just miss 'those days' when we took a walk just to see if there's a new martabak spot around the city.

4) I still love my blanket. And I will always do.

5)I still and do like reading a lot to gain new experience through people's thoughts. I'm currently reading reader's digest asia. My upcoming suggested book is Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. I've finished reading Mitch Albom's books: For One More Day, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, Tuesdays With Morrie, and Have A Little Faith. He's such an extraordinary writer!

6)I got some A(s) at school and it got better until I graduated from high school.

7)My TOEFL score is more than 530 and I'm planning to retake the test or take IELTS class.

8)I DON'T go to Medical School University of Indonesia. I didn't even choose it.I chose another major in the test. Instead, I'm accepted in some majors, like: Faculty of Engineering University of Indonesia, Faculty of Engineering Diponegoro University, Medical School Univeristy of North Sumatera (USU) and Law Faculty at President University.

My choice on USU mostly firstly concerns about my family. What if I move? Who will take care of my lil' sister? People will easily suggest my dad to remarry. In another side, my major in USU is really into me and the best one, of course. So why not?

Life taught me grumbling wouldn't make anything better. So,you'd better hold your head up and look straight to the future.

There are some things that can't be replaced and that's the way they are.

I'm on the right track, baby!

My Coming Back To Blogger

2011-08-25T09:28:00.000-07:00

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Heyya! Helena's in town! Beware!

Rawwwrr!

I am SICK OF TUMBLR!

...

2010-07-06T02:24:00.000-07:00

Tuhan, bukan karena aku tidak mau diberikan tanggung jawab ini. Sungguh Tuhan, aku sungguh bersyukur karena Engkau sudah mempercayakan perkara ini padaku. Tapi Tuhan, kalau boleh aku jujur, aku tidak tahan dengan semua ini. Aku sering bertanya pada diriku sendiri, "pantaskah aku mengeluh?" Kadang hanya itu saja yang berputar-putar di pikiranku. Tuhan, bukan karena aku tidak mau diberikan tanggung jawab ini, tapi karena aku takut aku tidak bisa. Jujur Tuhan, aku takut. Benar-benar takut, apalagi dengan mereka yang selalu siap menghadang jalanku. Aku takut Tuhan. Benar-benar takut, maka dalam ketakutanku aku berdoa.

Tuhan,kalau boleh aku memilih, mungkin aku akan memilih tidak seperti ini. Aku cuma lelah ditempah dengan jalan kehidupanku. Aku cuma kadang-kadang begitu takut, dan memilih bersembunyi. Tuhan, kadang aku pesimis. Aku takut aku tidak bisa seperti mereka. Mereka yang sudah berlari di lintasan mereka dan menyelesaikannya dengan menjadi pemenang. Ditambah lagi dengan ketakutanku pada mereka, yang menentang kami. Mereka yang selalu menganggap kalau begitulah jalan terbaik. Kadang aku lelah,Tuhan. Aku lelah menunggu jawaban doaku. Aku lelah menunggu kapan Engkau akan membukakan pintu hati mereka. Kadang aku bingung,harus kemana lagi aku pergi kalau tidak kepadaMu.

Tuhan, kalau aku terlalu banyak mengeluh, maafkan aku. Aku memang kurang bersyukur untuk hidup ini. Tapi Tuhan, kalau aku melihat ke atas, aku melihat teman-teman yang seperjalan berlari tanpa ada halangan yang berarti. Sering aku mengeluh. Aku bahkan jadi sering bertanya-tanya apakah ini caraMu membentuk diriku? Membentuk diriku supaya lebih kuat?

Tuhan, sekali lagi aku minta maaf kalau aku terlalu pragmatis dalam melihat kehidupan ini. Aku cuma anak 16 tahun, bukan seorang 61 tahun. Aku masih kekanak-kanakan, caraku memandang kehidupan tidaklah sama dengan orang dewasa.

Tuhan, kalau aku melihat ke belakang, serasa aku ingin hidup lagi di masa itu. Masa-masa dimana aku mampu dan mantap. Tapi sekarang, aku merasa aku tak seperti dulu.

Tolong sampaikan pesanku untuk orang-orang yang kusayangi, untuk dia yang kujanjikan kalau aku akan tetap berlari dalam lintasanku dan mengakhiri semua ini dengan menjadi pemenang. Katakan padanya kalau aku akan berusaha demi dia. Aku berusaha untuk tidak menyerah.

Dan sekali lagi maaf, kalau aku terlalu banyak mengeluh dan jarang bersyukur.

I surrender everything to your hand, God.

Revolution

2010-06-22T06:36:00.000-07:00

Hey,how's life fellas?

What do you have in mind about this holiday? Do you spend your holiday by traveling abroad or paying your relatives some visits?

Well,actually I just want to congratulate you all on your spending your holiday greatly. I spend my holiday at home. Since we have to bound our outcome. My sister finally goes to university, and it takes a lot of money to send her there. Actually for some people,it's not, since she's passed it through UMB. But still,we need money.

Anyway, we just tried to tidy up our room. She and I put some unused stuffs out of our room. I found some 'old' stuff which remind me of my past. Yeahh,time goes so fast.

Since I have nothing to share, let's talk about some 'old' stuffs that have been replaced by the new ones.
What are they?

1. walkman into mp3 player

Well,I still remember borrowing my sister's walkman. If you run out of battery,it sounds like old man with broken voice singing. It's terrible and horrifying .
Lol~!

Then, it's changed by mp3 player which mostly not uses battery anymore. It's simpler.
I just have to charge my iPod if it runs out of battery. At least, it's easy and simple.

2. analog camera into digital camera.

I'm pretty sure that most of us still remember the time when we hide from sunshine while taking pictures by analog camera. It can burn our photos which will be appeared bad. And I'm sure none of us would spend money without getting a good quality thing in return.

A few years later,it's replaced by digital camera. You don't like your photos? Just delete 'em! It's easy.

3. Greeting cards into sms
I don't have to put some pictures here since I believe you can easily imagine how greeting card is totally replaced by sms. I've never received any card for the last two years. I just received some sms.

Many things have changed rapidly, right?

Time goes so fast that you can't catch. Live your life to the best!

Finally!

2010-06-08T05:48:00.000-07:00

God, I just want to thank You for Your beautiful plans for my family.
I know these days are hard for us, but You still walk with us through it all.

And I just want to thank You for Your plans in my sister's life, Monica's life, so she passed the University of Indonesia entrance test and attended Faculty of Law.

CONGRATS YA,SISTER!

Mudah-mudahan tahun depan aku nyusul ke UI, ke Salemba *Amin*
Ayo berusaha! :)

terima kasih Yesus,Kau dengar doa kami :)

L-I-F-E

2010-05-14T18:47:00.000-07:00

So,yeahh. I'm back! After taking a rest for about six months, I missed blogging. Then,I opened my blog and tried to make it feel brand new. Anyway,how's life blogger?

What I want to share is about my daily life. As I am living my own life, I realize the meaning of this whole life. I met different people with different character from different background. Those people really make my life colorful. Sometimes, they make me dejected or mad at them, but sometimes they make me laugh.

One of them is my dad. I don't know how to thank God for having such a great father like him. You know, he's a single parent. He's a strong father who teaches me how to be strong. I had some unforgettable chats with him. He told me not to worry about tomorrow's life and stood on what I believed. I never knew that he was a good motivator inside. He even supported me to study at University of Indonesia. You know, the only thing I worried was about my university life. I still think my family over. I don't wanna be far away from them.

Anyway, I took a useless picture while having nothing to do.

So,what's in your bag?

Pa, aku janji gak akan menyia-nyiakan kerja keras papa membesarkan kami semua sendirian.

I Thank God For Having Someone Like You :)

2009-09-22T01:02:00.000-07:00

Yosafat sang this song for me.

I've been heading in the wrong direction
Hiding from my own protection
Running but my heart was standing still
I guess you saw the light inside me
Your love has been a torch to guide me
I hope I can be all that you deserve.

Well I'm no superman,
But I'll love you the best I can
And you know I'm just flesh and bones,
But with you
I feel I'm flying
Don't you know I'm no superman
But I'll always be your man

I was searching for a heart that's beating
As fast as the way I'm feeling
Trying to find some peace there in my soul
You know it was your love that saved me
The answer to my prayers you gave me
And I hope I'll be all your deserve.

Well I'm no superman,
But I'll love you the best I can
And you know I'm just flesh and bones,
But with you
I feel I'm flying
Don't you know I'm no superman
But I'll always be your man

I'd fight for you,
I'd die for you
You know I would
Hold back the night, light up the sky,
Oh if I could I'll always be your man

Well I'm no superman,
But I'll love you the best I can
And you know I'm just flesh and bones,
But with you
I feel I'm flying
Don't you know I'm no superman
But I'll always be your man

Happy Birthday!

2009-07-06T10:27:00.000-07:00

She’s one of those most beautiful women (in my sight).
July 7, 2009. She was born 43 years ago.
Selamat Ulang Tahun.

Selamat ulang tahun,mama! Hari ini umur mama udah bertambah,ya. Tuti bisa bayangin seandainya mama masih di sini, pasti udah sering ngeluh kalo mama keliatan makin tua. Tapi mama ada di sana, di tempat yang tenang, di alam keabadian. Jadi, pasti muka mama ga keliatan tua. Tetep cantik seperti dulu.

Ma, ga terasa ya, udah 1,5 tahun mama pergi. Ulang tahun mama yg tahun lalu, tuti lupa. Soalnya lagi sibuk nyiapin peralatan sekolah buat sma. Tapi tahun ini engga,soalnya tuti udah naik kls, jadi ga serepot dulu lagi. Palingan phany yang sekarang udah masuk SD.
Ma, mama masih ingat waktu ulang tahun mama yg tahun-tahun sebelumnya, tuti kasih kue tart, yang norak abis, yg bwt kak monic ketawa-ketawa gara2 noraknya? Waaahhh, jadi pengen beli kue tart yang norak gituan lagi. “Selamat Ulang Tahun” ato pas hari ibu “Selamat Hari Ibu”. Kalo tuti bisa ziarah, pengen bawa kue yang kayak gitu lagi. Tapi kyknya ga bisa,ma . Tuti Cuma bisa bawa anggrek kesayangan mama yang udah berbunga.

Ma, kalo seandainya mama di sini mama mungkin udah ngerayain ulang tahun. Soalnya kan, mama jarang ngerayain ulang tahun, jadi mungkin di ulang tahun yg ke-43 ini, mama mau ngerayain ulang tahun.
Mama, sekali lagi selamat ulang tahun ya. Semoga mama bisa tenang di sana. Mama bakalan selalu ada di hati dan ingatan kami.
Terima kasih, buat 14 tahun terbaik yang pernah Tuhan kasih sama tuti lewat mama, mama yg cerewet, mama yang terkadang sensi, mama yang bener-bener peduli. Tuti jadi speechless kalo udah gini :P

Semua rencana mama yang tertunda, foto keluarga ulang, jalan-jalan keluarga, dan semua nya, mungkin ga bisa terwujud. Tapi tuti tetap yakin, suatu saat nanti, waktu kita semua udah ngumpul pasti bisa diwujudin semua nya.

Tuti percaya, hidup ini kayak lomba lari. Kami berempat, tuti,kak monic, phany, bapak, itu orang-orang yang masih harus berlari jauh dalam lintasan hidup kami. Sementara mama, mama udah sampai di garis finish, nunggu kami semua. Jadi doain ya ma, biar semua yang baik yang udah kita rencana-in bisa terwujud. Doain biar kami di sini sehat-sehat aja, biar tetap hidup baik *apaan sih?* biar ntar, kita semua ketemu di garis finish.

May each day in the week be a good day
May the Lord always watch over you
And may all of your hopes turn to wishes
And may all of your wishes come true

May each day in the month be a good day
May you make friends with each one you meet
And may all of your daydreams be mem'ries
And may all of your mem'ries be sweet

The weeks turn to months and the months into years
There'll be sadness and joy, there'll be laughter and tears
But one thing I pray to heaven above
May each of your days be a day full of love

May each day in the year be a good day
May each dawn find you happy and gay
And may all of your days be as lovely
As the one you shared with me today

May each day of your life be a good day
And good night.

Mama selalu bilang, lagu ini doa seorang ibu buat anaknya.

Tuti memang bukan anak yang baik, tapi tuti mencoba jadi anak baik,buat mama.

Selamat ulang tahun yang ke-sekian kali nya ya,ma.
Titip salam buat semua yg ada di surga :P

happy birthday!

Thanks,

2009-07-01T19:40:00.000-07:00

Hola,folks!

I have nothing to write. So, I post some photos 'bout my friends. They are people who always look after me.

My beloved English Club
This team is full of great debaters *hey,i ain't promoting my team*

*Aduuh,sumpah. aku yg paling pinggir,pegang tas gosh. aib bgt muka ku*

Second, my mrh20
My closest friends! 2 of 'em are bloggers.

odett

regina

QC Lovers!
This study group was started in the beginning of academic year. Yeah,it's over. But the time when we laughed together, cried for the same things, won't be forgotten.

The last, my ex-classmates. The great x-a.
*Our mem'ries won't fade away*

Sun Plaza, June 2009.

I thank God for givin' me such great ppl like y'all. Thanks for being huge parts of my life.

Time goes by so fast, you can't go back to your past time.

Bad Rank :(

2009-06-27T08:35:00.000-07:00

Hi,bloggers.

I guess i haven't updated my blog for about 2 weeks.
Well,too many to tell. Firstly, i'm promoted to next level, Xi Science. But,i ain't satisfied with my scores. yeaah,it may be the result of what i've done. my average score went down to 84,6 from 86,8. that's too much for me.

I got nothing to do. Maybe i have to study for Australian Center placement test, since i told my daddy that i would take a class there. but i'm not in a good mood. i'm really ashamed on myself for not doing my best in last semester. i guess i have forgot many materials 'bout toefl that i studied 2 years ago. bad news' comin.

aku mau berusaha buat FK UI :)

Some Days.

2009-06-10T02:17:00.000-07:00

There are some days in your life,
When you feel like shit
When you think life ain't fair enough
When you've cried for many hours
When you blame God for everything happened in your life.

There are some days in your life,
When tears come streaming down your face
When you've tried your best and it causes nothing
When you think something over

But still, you can't get what you want.

There are some days in your life,
When you see people with no effort
Get what they want
When you're jealous of their victory
When you want to get you old 'soul' back
When you try as hard as you can to get yourself bounced back

But,
There are some days in your life,
When you've got what you want
And when you think you're in the top
And you'll forget

'Those some days' in your life.

This is ORIGINALLY created by Helena. It's not copyable.

DAMN

2009-05-20T07:35:00.000-07:00

STUPID PEOPLE,GO TO HELL!

sorry for being rude. but this is my right to write anything i want here.

aku marah!

Long Road To Heaven

2009-05-09T02:39:00.000-07:00

well,i think it's time to tell you the result of my exams. most of 'em are really really terrible. you know what? i got 42 for biology. i don't know what mark can describe me. D? E? or maybe F?

Hmm. anyway, i also had received my IQ test result . it tells me that I'm a so-so person. actually my IQ isn't bad at all, but it's lower than everyone's in my class. Is that the reason why i cant get my teacher explanation?

Well, speaking of school. I always have a desire to go abroad to continue my education. Unfortunately, i don't have much money. but when a student exchange foundation came to my school, i was so excited to follow their program. but finally, i FAILED to follow the test.
Huh!

Hmm. now i'm speechless. idk what to talk about. I'm gonna hiatus. my daddy warned me. he thought that i spent many hours in front of computer.
and he will disconnect the internet if i'm still the internet addict.

Keep visiting my blog. Follow my blog, twitter, and also plurk.
Thanks a lot.

OCD.

2009-05-06T04:13:00.001-07:00

you are what you think

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

2009-05-01T02:38:00.000-07:00

hola folks! lama ngga update blog ku,aku balik lg!
*biasa aja,lagee*

oke,oke. sampe dimana crita kita? *mirip ibu2 pas nge-gosip aja*
well,well,well.

pretty hard to say. apa yyahh...aku cuma ngerasa makin lama dunia ini makin berat. rasanya pengen mati aja. di rumah sepi, di sekolah bosen, kemana lagi?

blomm lagi,ujian ku yang agak-agak ~~ancur~~, dan 1 resolusi tahun baru-ku yang terancam ngga bisa aku sampein. aduuhh,gimana yyahh..rasa hampa,kosong,kesel,muak,sedih,sepi, jadi satu.

anyway, balik lagi soal ujian. yyah,seperti biasa soal matematika buatan pak gultom yg bikin aku sakit perut,muntah darah,panas dingin,pucat,apalah..bla..bla..bla..

aku sendiri sampe heran. kok bisa yya,aku bloon banget matematika? seumur-umur, slama jadi murid SMA SANTO THOMAS 1, aku baru dua kali lulus matematika! ujian formatif pertama semester ganjil,sama pas ujian semester. selebihnyaa,yyaahh,nilai pas-pasan. 5,6..

but hopefully,nilai bulanan ku bulan ini engga jelek. Please God..janji deh,kalo lulus bakalan rajin belajar..*janji biasa sama Papa J*

LOLs!

Beneran..aku pengen lulus. meskipun dengan nilai 70 ato 71. nilai batas kelulusan juga,boleh dehh. yg penting lulus! Kimia? waah,yg satu ini memang bikin aku frustasi. you know lah,aku paling ngga pinter kimia. sama kyk mate, banyakan ngga lulus daripada lulus nyya! tp kalo buat kimia,aku pasrah dehh. kalo emang ngga lulus...yaaa...* niat bunuh diri*

Fisika? Ahhh! Males critainnya! Ntar kyk ujian bulanan yg lalu. ke pe-de-an ngerjainnya,isi smua. nilainya? 60! sama aja. jadi yyah,kita liat aja. lagian,ujian kali ini, aku ngga bisa ngerjain 1 sub nomor.

Anyway, aku ngerasa blogger di sekolah ku udah makin banyak. Seneng juga sih. Bisa sharing ttg blogging, difficulties-nya,bnyk dehhh.

aku ngga tau nih mo nulis apa lg. hmm..ttg kakak kls ku yg ku suka itu, aku udah lupain dia. susah sih. td aja masi pengen nge-add dia lg di facebook. soalnyaa,aku remove dia gituu. jahat yya? tp mau gmn lg? ntar tiap aku online,mau liat facebook dia trus,sih. pdhal...aku bukan siapa-siapa.

dan aku ngerasa kosong.

rindu mama.

y'ore gettin older,helena! Be Wise!

White Flag.

2009-04-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

So,yeahh,this is really a quick update. i was daydreaming, and all of a sudden my desire to blog came. and then, i wrote this.

So,what can i tell you? my school life? well,it's too long to tell, i guess. let's raise another topic. anyway, i saw him at school today. he was walking around with his friend, and i pointed at him,deliberately. i wanted to show him that i really really wanted to stay close to him. but maybe,he doesn't like the way i show my attention.

Hey, have you ever thought, or maybe imagined, that life is so unfair? You may hope somebody gets closer to you, but in fact, he doesn't. it seems like God has choosen the one for you. But i think, not each of us will ready to receive this fate. and i hate sayin, somebody, let's say,the freak one in my church..hmm...gets a crush on me.it's okay, if he's good looking. but really, he has a ..idk what to say..freak style. huhh!!

i don't even like him.

absolutely nope. hopefully no. forever!

his name is saut. it sounds weird,doesn't it?

But, speaking of him(my senior that i told you a few weeks ago),who i'm in love with,
he's getting further and further..it's easily to see his effort to stay away from me. he didn't even reply my sms, hid me, and even looked me as if i'm a robber. uuh, it really makes me sad, even shocked .

And i got the most appropiate song to describe me:

Dido- White Flag

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you or tell you that
but If I didn't say it well I'd still have felt it, where's the sense in that
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
or return to where we were but

I will go down with this ship and I won't put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again
and I cause nothing but trouble, I understand if you can't talk to me again
and if you live by the rules of it's over
then I'm sure that that makes sense but

I will go down with this ship and put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be

and when we meet, which I'm sure we will
all that was there, will be there still
I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue
and you will think, that I've moved on
i really want to shout this out loud in front of him, so he will know.

I will go down with this ship and put my hands up and surrender
there will be no white flag above my door, I'm in love and always will be

anyway, i have to study trigonometry. i'll have a monthly exam next week.

heyy,i had ever heard, s.o.b was the abbreviation of son of bitch. oops,sorry! i ain't gonna talk taboo words here, but have you ever heard 'bout it?

i will not go down with this feeling.

...

2009-04-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

seringkali dalam hidup ini kita sering kurang mensyukuri apa yang kita dapatkan.
mencoba menyalahkan dimensi waktu tentang apa yang seharusnya terjadi.
mencoba menyalahkan orang-orang yang kita vonis bersalah.
mencoba menjadi tidak realistis, berusaha untuk memutar balik waktu.
berharap seandainya semua hal berjalan dengan baik.
sesuai dengan rencana kita.

dan ketika suatu hal tidak berjalan dengan sesuai dengan keinginan kita,
kita akan menyerah.
mengeluh pada Tuhan.
"Tuhan,mengapa semua masalah ini datang?"
Mencoba mendalami pemikiran Tuhan.

sangat jarang menemukan orang dalam doa nya, mengatakan,
"Tuhan, terima kasih untuk semua hal hari ini. Terima kasih untuk kesenangan,dan juga
masalah ini."
1 diantara sejuta.
kita lebih sering berdoa,
"Tuhan, terima kasih atas hari ini. Semoga masalah itu tidak datang lagi."
itu semua manusiawi.
berusaha untuk menghidari masalah.

padahal sebenarnya,
masalah itu datang untuk menguatkan kita.
membuat kita lebih dewasa dalam hidup.
tapi terkadang,
kita masalah datang bertubi-tubi,
kita lelah.
lelah seperti mengerjakan PR dari guru yang jumlahnya banyak sekali.
lelah ditempah dengan jalan kehidupan kita.

dan ketika kelelahan itu semakin terasa,
maka yang ada adalah keputusasaan.
bagi mereka yang merasa sendirian.

dan bagi mereka yang merasa tidak pernah sendiri,
akan ada kepasrahan.
pasrah dengan apa yang akan terjadi.
percaya sepenuhnya pada Tuhan.
yakin, kalau semua hal indah pada waktunya.

Tuhan,
aku berterima kasih untuk semua hal yang terjadi hari ini.
terima kasih sudah menjadikan aku seorang teman bagi orang lain,
terima kasih sudah menjadikan aku tempat berbagi.
setidaknya untuk satu orang saja.

dan terima kasih,
untuk masalah yang ada hari ini.
masalah yang menguatkan.
masalah yang nantinya akan mendewasakan.

you teach me how to be stonger

K-a-l-a-u

2009-03-29T07:42:00.000-07:00

kalau saja.

aku bisa mainin biola dgn bagus.
ngga susah baca not balok.
bisa gesek dgn bagus.
buat guru ku bangga.

kalau saja.

aku bisa putar balik waktu.
pasti aku bakal belajar mati-matian.
biar miss a sui ngga kecewa.
biar dia tau kalo aku punya usaha.

kalau saja.

aku punya waktu 30 jam sehari.
aku mau bagi sama adik ku,papa ku.
bukan malah sibuk online dan blogging.
sementara adik,ngga punya temen bicara.

kalau saja.

aku ketemu dia lebih awal.
aku bisa dekat sama dia.
aku bisa tau dia org nya gmn.
dia bisa terima aku apa adanya.

kalau saja.

aku bisa putar balik waktu.

dan kalau..

what's next,huh?

Vielen danke!

2009-03-22T02:15:00.000-07:00

Vielen danke!

I just know how to say "terima kasih" in Germany. I've sudied it for about a year. Anyway,i ain't gonna tell ya my experience in learning that language. I just wanna thank you for all who have given me awards. Firstly,it comes from:

I got it from: nenoneno

The aims of this award:
• As a dedication for those who love blogging activity and love to encourage friendships through blogging.
• To seek the reasons why we all love blogging!

Here are the rules of the award:

• Put the award in one post as soon as you receive it.
• Don’t forget to mention the person who gives you the award.
• Answer the award’s question by writing the reason why you love blogging.
• Tag and distribute the award to as many people as you like.
• Don’t forget to notify the award receivers and put their links in your post.

And here is the reason why i like blogging:

I like blogging because i'm talkative enough, and i need people to listen to my story. Just like the title of this blog: Just Wanna Tell You [!]. I also have many friends from blogging activity [and i hope y'all count me as yo friend].

and this award goes to: everyone who have exchanged link with me. Thank you for givin me a chance to be heard!

The second award comes from kha. Here is the award:

the rules:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude!
3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

I'd like to give this award to: odett. thanks for being one of those greatest friends!

Well,i think that's all for today. I'll do my homework from many bloggers later, when i have much time. And sorry, for heapin' that homework.

Mauliate Godang,once more!

It's Gonna Be A Dull Posting

2009-03-21T05:39:00.000-07:00

It's Gonna Be A Dull Posting!

Hmm,idk where to start.
But I'd rather use indonesian for pleasure than english.

pertama,
aku kalah di olimpiade bahasa inggris!
this is the reason why i use indonesian. sedihh? definetely!
yg buat sedihh,sebenarnyya bukaan kekalahannyaa,tp peringkatnyaa itu lhoo! ga tahan aku liatnyaa! 65 dr 320 org-an gituu. kirain siih,bisa dpt peringkat 30 besar. yya,aku tau lha, impossible klo aku dpt 10 besar. secara helena yg buat kalimat pake low standard english punyaa- gituu kata miss lim a sui!

tp jgn pikir gara2 hal itu,aku berhenti nulis pake english, ngomong seadanyaa *lhoo* ato nyari2 native speaker buat diajak ngomong. soal nyyaa bukaan helena namanyaa kalo berhenti belajar *sok bgt*. jd inget kata-kata mama, pas aku niat bolos les di PPIA. dia marah, bilang klo dia keluarin duitnyaa buat bikin kami smua pinter bahasa inggris. ngga smua orang tua rela gituu lhoo. klo pun banyak, mama ku punya cara khusus. mama slalu nanya apa yg baru aku pelajarin di les,tiap kali aku pulang les. jadi,walaupun dia ngga ngerti itu apa, dia bakal teteup pengen tau. aku rindu ditanyain," lho,itu artinya apa,tut?"
*sedihh*

kedua,
aku merasa tiap hari aku makin nakal!
smua org bilang gituu! knp yyah? terlalu bnyk main fb? blog? ntah lah. yg pastinyaa aku masi dlm proses bounced back biar bisa kyk dulu lg. bisa jd anak baik. rajin belajar. wah,klo yg satu ini, dari dulu sampe skrg jg ngga pernah hel..

ketiga,
jangan tanya nomor hape ku,klo ngga kenal aku secara dekat!!
aku benci tiap ada yg chat di facebook, nanya nomor hape ku! ngga dikasi? langsung putus dehh chat nyaa. who the hell are you??!!
aku benci di-gini-in! sorry yya,tp aku juga punya privasi!
jelek2 gini, helena masi punya privasi buat ngga kasi nomor hape sama strangers.
you MUST notice that!!

keempat,
gimanaaa sih abg kls ku ituu??
aku nunggu dlm ketidakspastian *halaah*
aku masi suka sama dia!
sangat!
tp knp sms ku ngga dibls?

im sick of ya,ya know..

kesel,
tp suka.
masi sangat.
caranya jalan, gaya dia, rambutnya,smua nyya!
ahh,pdhal kaan dia kaan ngga mungkin..
mungkin smua dah pd tau aku suka sama dia.
pasti!
secara aku keliatan bgt klo suka sama orang.
dan mungkin gara2 itu dia jauhin aku?
maybe.
tp aku ngga peduli.

the last but not the least,
buat smua award,
ntar aku ambil yyah.
i gotta be offline,
mau belajar.

:D

have i changed a lot?

Short Update!

2009-03-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

Hey,y'all!

Helena is comin back! *sounds so silly*

Well,there are so many stories to tell. But I'll tell you shortly.

-I'll join an English Competition, Methodist 2 Education Fair, will be held on Thursday, March 19th 2009. I've never felt so ambitious in following competition before. But I dont know why, I feel like having such huge spirit inside myself to follow this competition..*heh?* I dont wanna make my english teacher disappointed with me. Whether I'll win or nope, I'll do my best for her*halaaah,y'ore talkin a blue streak,helena!*

- I've been in love with someone. Uhh!! I hate tellin you this, because actually this is not an important story. but it's good enough to talk. I've got a crush on my senior, the third year student, named A****. Ssst! Keep this secret! He replied my sms at first. We've met! I was so happy! But then, he hadn't replied my sms. this really makes me dejected! A friend of mine, told me that he had never wanted to talk 'bout gal. Did i make mistakes? Why didnt he reply my sms?

-I have a new maid. *lhooo?? apaan ini??*

yyess! She's younger than before. I think she's a loyal one.

-That's all, i think.

It seems short,rite? But I've shortened it, so I can write less than before.

Anyway, i gotta be offline. I gotta study more for that english competition.

Wish me luck,folks!

still remember him..*sedihh*

Homework!

2009-02-01T07:02:00.000-08:00

Heyy,i got this award from ika gema

Thanks! Altough it is such an curious award

1. Put this award on your blog(s)..
2. Put your very or the most aib photo with no edit of course..
3. Give this award to people you know (min. 2)...

1. This is the award:

2. And the photo is:

aku: orang yg buka mulut lebar bgt pake baju garis-garis putih-pink

3. tag buat:
odett
yasu spy

4. Kenapa foto ini yg paling aib
karna diambil setelah capek muter2 sun plaza, muka dah kusam, buka mulut lebar2 lg..

5. menurut ku aib itu
jelek bgt

6. orang yg menurutku paling aib:
julia perez. jijaiii!

ngga nyangkaa yya,waktu cepat berlalu

Award!

2009-01-23T23:22:00.000-08:00

Firstly,i'd like to say thanks to...farah

For giving me these awards.i'm so sorry for taking it just recently.. Anyway,thanks. you give me two at once :)

Here,they come:

the rules:
first:put this logo on your blog.
second:answer this question.

1.what is your main reason to make a blog ?
i don't have any diaries,so i make this blog as my online diary

2. whose blog that visit first after you make your own blog ?
ika hardy

3. tag 5 people you visit often
sino
ika gema
reena
chelle
sarah

this award has given to you through this award farah thank you so much!

The second award:

the rules:
first: pajang award ini d blog anda
second: beri judul the uniqe award d postingan
third: jawab pertanyaan berikut ini

1. benda unik apa yg lo punya ?
the answers are below ↓

2. apakah elo mengoleksi benda benda unik ? kalo iya apa saja ?
bukan koleksi gue, tp keluarga gue. kalender batak,tongkat batak, miniatur rumah batak, pokoke all 'bout batak lhaa..[kata ortu harus bangga jadi orang batak ]

3. apa penyebab elo bisa membuat dan mempunyai blog unik seperti ini ?
gue ngga ngerasa blog gue unik

berikan award ini kepada blogger lainnya yg punya blog unik kayak punya kamu
those people whom i tagged above

thank you for appreciating my works!

Heyy!

2009-01-22T05:56:00.000-08:00

what a busy week!

I think i've forgotten having an update to this blog.

Well,what i wanna tell ya for this update is my mid week daily life.

Hmm...speaking of school life,the one and the most influential world of mine, i'm happy with this week. i enjoyed it,so far so good.

on monday,as i told ya, we studied 'bout mathematics logic. it was a lil' bit difficult to understand. i was like such a big dummy in that smart class

my class was full of smart and also genius people,the top 50 of 500 10th students in my school.

well,that's the lack of superior class.

but i think that's okay,cuz i can get it a lil' by a lil'. i've just studied it. and for me,the more i study mathematic logic, the more i like it. it's interesting. i don't have to count many things,like maybe arithmathic social. and the algebra is fun :)

physics is fun,too. i like it. but the teacher still looks the same as he does in the past year,killer :(

but anyway,i still like and enjoy those all.

my art assignment? damn! those who collected this morning got higher than i got. as a matter of fact,she had told us that who collected his assignment on the first week would get higher than who didn't.

and i got lower score altough i collected it on the first week.

it makes me dejected!

my violin class was good,altough he came late. it was very disgusting to wait him. it was 'bout an hour. i wanted to say," hey man,time is money!" but i couldn't. he's my teacher.

i summarize what i've been through for this mid week: don't ya ever make people wait for you just because you have something to do. moerover,if you had made a promise. that's selfish.

come on time!

Summary of This Week!

2009-01-18T02:59:00.000-08:00

Hi!!

Well,after enjoying this week, i'd like to tell ya 'bout my daily activities during this week.

Monday: my school celebrated christmas and new year. too late,huh? i think so. but this annual celebration must be celebrated after December 25th.

Tuesday: chemistry. gosh! what should i do to become good at chemistry? again and again. i was confused.

Wednesday: hmm. maths. i like it. we studied 'bout mathematics logic, and it was quite confusing, i think. but it was still nice

Thursday: hmm. biology? it was enjoyable! but i was very disappointed. my art assignment isn't appreciated. it only got 89. anyway, i'm taking violin class in magnificat music course. i think it is so interesting! i start to love music,especially violin!

Friday: UHH! music? as i told ya, i ain't good at playing musical instrument [except the violin,i'll try to love at this one]. my teacher asked us to bring our instrument and play it together. i didn't!

Saturday: i was satisfied! i had done my english project! it was edited by english teacher. at first, i was timid to show her my work[actually my team,but i take a part there]. she said that it was good. not many error grammar and words there. at least,i was relieved! this had been delayed to do,but we had finished it!

Sunday: i cleaned the toilet, did my homework, washed my shoes,and went to the church. after those all,i went to a bookstore to buy my books. but i couldn't buy my book [maths,chemistry,and biology]. the bookstore was closed. i'm afraid this makes me in trouble. i also chatted with pascal, my ex-boyfriend. he told me 'bout his new girlfriend.

And the summary is: i try to be responsible. i wanna be a fully commitment person. i've done all i have to do this week. and i'm proud of it. it's one of my new year resolutions.

commitment, reliable, responsible

Award

2009-01-17T07:06:00.000-08:00

Oke, aku dapet award nihh dari yasu spy
Thanks yaa!

1.darimana blog kalian berasal?
*blogger.com

2.kapan blognya di lahirin?
*hmm. masi baru siih. februari 2008. horee! ntar lg setaon!

3.kesulitan apa aja pas kamu bikin blog ini?
* template! adduh,ini yg versi apaan juga aku ndak ngerti. kata nyaa yg dari www.blogskins.com itu ngga bisaa. errror melulu.

4.mengapa membahas topik yg kalian bahas sekarang?
*hmm. my life story? knp yaaa? mungkin gara2 aku jarang punya tempat curhat. jadi curhat tentang idup mati ku di sini,meskipun bnyk yg di-edit.

5.kenapa make template ini?
*cause this is the only one i can make

6.apa yg kamu lakukan pas pertama kali blog kalian jadi?
*pertama adalah pamer linknyake teman2 yg blomm punya blog,trus linknya di taro di frienster&facebook,habis itu nyari widgets yang keren buat di copy paste, selanjutnyaa adalah cari blog2 keren buat belajar blogging.

award ini..

award ini..

award ini...

buat siapapun yang mo ngambil.

helena's back. watch out!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-11T06:14:00.000-08:00

LOL~!

I know this is too late to say it,but at least, lemme greet you to this new year.

So,how's ur looong holiday,folks? Well,my holiday isn't so bad,but not as well as i imagine. let's say: it's so-so. Only because of my namboru's comin, it becomes more interesting.

Our new year celebration was praying at home,at gathering with my big family. Well,this is one of those amazing graces i had in this christmas, they visited me!

We were all praying and maybe,apologizing for some mistakes we had made, and all of a sudden, my inang tua came [it's a lil' bit difficult to explain the names of bataknese calling; she's my mother's sista]

As usual,the cakes, the colas, the chocolates, all.

I remember warning my younger sista 'bout how much chocolate she had eaten, and of course, how much coca cola she had drunk.

She was out of control!

The next day, we visited our family's house. This is very usual for indonesian,particulary bataknese. brought some cakes,and of course gave some money for the children.

I got it,too :)

Hehehehe.

Well,then, I spent the rest of my holidays by goin to the cinema. Watched Twilight with my cousins.

Edward Cullen is so cute!!!

The cutest vampire forever!

Btw,

Well, i knew that my ex-boyfriend had got a new toy. Ugh!! So suck! I hate it!

But that's okay, cuz enjoying the rest of this weird life alone doesn't bring any different to me.

Anyway,speaking of new year resolution, have u made it?

I've made it,here it comes:

1.Enter Science Department [XI IPA]

2.Take toefl preparation class [i haven't taken it,but i've done the test by myself;stupidly :P]

3.Stay the same with my statement. say NO to STEP MOTHER! I never want it. NEVER!

4. Get closer to..hmm..let's say,JC? Yeahh,i think, i've been gettin further and further since my mother's leaving, but this new year is my chance to fix my relationship with Him. Isn't it?

And maybe,get closer to my daddy. Idk why,i think i have to. he's my dad. the only parent i have.

5.Hmm.sounds too ambitious, but maybe be able to get to 10 rank in my class. this needs hard will.

6.Get slimmer and taller! I'm 50 kgs,and just 150 cms. imagine how fat i look! this is so disgusting! i have to match the dress i wear.

7.I'm a lazy gal. I wanna be a tidy gal, at least for my room.

8.Get someone. don't think he's a boyfriend. she or he may be a best friend. this is a long expeditions [sounds too excessive] to find ur soulmate. However,a best friend means a lot than a boyfriend. Agree?

9.Do what I have to do.

Well,I think that's all.

I hope i can do those all.

she's stronger. rite now

Fascinating Homework+ Award

2008-12-28T21:30:00.000-08:00

I got this award from pupuy

thank you so much!

The rules :

the rules are simple. Use google image to search the answer to the questions below. Then you must choose the picture in the first page for results, and post it as your answer. After that tag 7 people.

the age of my next birthday

I'm going 16 y.o.

A place I'd like to travel

many people wanna travel abroad,but i don't. i'd rather stay at my country,and enjoy the scenery here :)

A favorite place

home - the best place or palace i've ever had in my life

A favorite food

Martabak: easy to get - cheap - delicious

favorite thing

i can't sleep without my blanket.i'll be awake without THIS.

favorite color

my fav. color: black - pink - yellow green

A nickname that I had

don't see the word "villa". just see my nickname,tuti. taken from my maiden name. LOL!

college major

i haven't attended any college

A name of my LOVE

My love: My family: My EVERYTHING

A bad habit

suppering before going to bed. it makes me gettin' fatter and fatter..

A hobby

my hobby is reading

wishlist[s]

A+ for more subjects than i can do. luckily, i can get this in math and science. but not in social subjects. i have to work hard,to get a better rank. I HAVE TO!

530

TOEFL Scores for about 530 [and hopefully,above]

from flickr,searched by google

i hope this ain't dream. be able to attend that college :]

hopefully,all wishes of mine come true..

amen.

Tags:
sino
lynn
nofal
muhammad romadhona
vii
hani
lisz

Happy doing homework,guys!

Award+Homework

2008-12-28T20:43:00.000-08:00

Hey,i got his award from sarah,thank you!

1. Sebutkan penyanyi pop favoritmu:
hmm.. Beyonce, Celine Dion, Terry

2. Apa arti EMO dari menurutmu:
ga ngerti apaan ntu

3. Setujukah jika dangdut go-International:
hmm.. ya, gapapa lhaa. itung-itung buat indonesia tercinta terkenal

4. Koleksi album apa yang kamu miliki? Ada berapa?
apa yaa? palingan lg pop sama lagu rohani. jumlah nyaa ga inget lg.

5. Mengapa musik metal selalu teriak teriak (scream)?
ga tau kenapa

sebarkan ini ke 7 org :

sino
lynn
nofal
muhammad romadhona
vii
hani
lisz

Happy doing homework,guys!

Sunday Morning

2008-12-27T17:54:00.000-08:00

Haloo!

I don't go to church this sunday,bcuz i'll go with my big family. i dunno what,but my namboru told me that it was a picnic.

Well,there's something makes me marvellous 'bout this picnic. the funtion. actually,idk what we wanna do there. my namboru said that it was a christmas celebration for our big family, but still, i don't understand.

Haahh.

Idk what to write.

I have a rather big problem.

And it starts to kill me softly from now.

Maaph. Maaph. Cerita Natal yg USELESS

2008-12-26T06:19:00.000-08:00

Waah,ternyata helena gak tepat janji yaah.
Soalnyaa, waktu itu kan helena janji bakal nulis lanjutan Christmas is Gettin' Closer and Closer! [Part1], tp ternyata listrik mati sampe 2 hari dan internet dipake kakak helena.

Oke,let's begin.

Bulan Desember ini asooy bgt!
Gimana engga,coba?

Tanggal 23 aku pergi check up ke dokter gigi,buat ganti karet buat kawat gigi ku. Emang sih,tadi nya mo buat janji, tp, hp nyaa dokter ga aktif. Jadi dehh aku pergi sama papa tanpa buat janji. Biasa nyaa dia ada di praktek, tp rupanya ada acara natal,jd dia ga bisa datang.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Papa marah besar.

Oke,pulang dari sana,aku mo potong rambut. Di salon deket rumah,biar murah,kata nyaa. Nahh,aku lg pengen creambath, jd pas papa jemput aku belom siap. Papa bolak-balik mo jemput aku. Padahal aku ngga minta,lhoo. Dia datang sendiri.

Kacamata papa hilang di jalan. Dan itu bukan kacamata murahan,karena aku tau,harga nyaa buat kantong kering. Jadi dehh,aku ga enak sama oppung.

"Papa mu mau jemput kau tadi."

Sedikit informasi; muka oppung menunjukkan: ngeri ajaa.

Aku takut dimarahi sama mereka.

Aku jadi heran,soal nyaa,aku ngga minta dijemput lhoo..

Oke lha,aku salah,tapi jangan gituu dongg. Aku kan juga mo minta maaf.

Aku nangis kyk orang gilak, ga tau mo ngadu kemana dan kenapa. Sedih aja, kalo diinget-inget masalah ku banyak bgt [waktu yg tidak sesuai], hidupku berubah semenjak mama meninggal. Tekanan dimana-mana.

Sampe berani bilang: ma,bawa aja helen,si tukang sial ini. Di sini ga ada guna nyaa.

Oke,sampe di situ.

Setelah itu,namboru dari aussie pulang. Kita semua dibeliin baju, sesuka hati [koqq?]. Nahh,gara-gara aku bilang tempat belanja yg bagus,kita pergi ke sana. Di sana memang lamaaa bgt siih,nawar baju. Soal nyaa kan harga baju nya mahal. Ga enak,udah dibeliin, cari yg mahal pula itu. Jadi kita pulang,setelah beli baju dan meriksa kacamata namboru.

Waktu pulang,oppung berkata: Pajak meong! [waah,memang pilihan ku ngga pernah bagus yaa? Ga ada yg bilang langung siih. Aku: Tersangka Utama]

HAHAHAHAHA! HELENA SIAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Setelah itu, kami pergi ke gereja buat misa malam natal. Biasa ajaa sampe di situ.

Dan barusan,kakak ku letakin handuk di atas rok ku. Bau sama basah dehh jadi nya rok ku. Aku marah,sempet ngejek dia [cobaaa tebaak??]. Aku ngaku dehh kalo aku salah. Tapi tangan ku keburu terkilir.

Kakak ku marah. Terus tangan ku dipukul. Aku juga ngepukul juga sihh [once more: oke dehh,aku ngaku salah].

Jadi sekarang,rencana ku adalah ngadu sama Tuhan. Soal nyaa aku punyaa masalah lagi lho. [BANGGA; helena memang BODOH].

Hahahahaha! Complicated bgt yaa?
Gilee,Nih anak sial bgt!

Sedikit informasi: pas natal aku kan ngirimin ucapan met natal buat temen-temen ku,termasuk mantan pacar ku ituu lhoo. Sekalian minta maaf buat smua kesalahan ku. Tapi dia malah caci maki aku,bilang kalo dia ngga butuh itu.

Waah,apakah ada ajaran agama yg bilang,"Janganlah kamu mengampuni?" Kan semestinya dia ngga gitu,walopun dia ngga maafin aku, ngga semestinyaa dia gituu.

Tapi udaah lhaa,toh aku dah ikhlas. Jahat-jahat dan bawa sial gini,helena juga tau nge-doain orang. Jadi dia harus di-doain. Biar bisa berubah.

Btw,resolusi taon baru helena bnyk yg ngga tercapai.

Ngga jadi ngambil kelas TOEFL Preparation [terpaksa harus belajar sendiri,ngga sempet], ngga bisa masuk sepuluh besar di kelas X, ngga jalan lg sama pacar [putus,maksud nyaa].

Haah.

Rindu sama mama. Pengen cerita pengalaman natal taon ini. Menyedihkan. Pengen ngadu sama mama. Pengen bilang, "ma,helena ngga pernah setuju kalo org suruh papa kawin lagi." I'll fight against step mother until the last breath of mine! Aku ngga habis pikir,gimana mungkin orang tega buat itu semua sama aku. Padahal aku dah kehilangan semuanyaa,

mama ku,pacar ku, ranking 10 besar ku,

Tapi toh itu yg jadi tangisan ku tiap doa malam. Terkadang aku nyalahin Tuhan, bilang Tuhan itu jahat. Tapi,lama-lama sadar, kalo ini semua Tuhan buat biar aku lebih kuat.

Aku tau,Tuhan ngga mungkin kasi cobaan kalo aku ngga kuat.

Tapi aku cape hadapin ini semua.

Pengen nangis deehh,waktu nulis ini.

Akh,udah lhaaa.

Helena pasti kuat hadapin ini semua. pasti.

Biarkan aku menangis,barang sedetik saja dalam hidup ku...

Christmas is Gettin' Closer and Closer! [Part-1]

2008-12-19T03:19:00.000-08:00

Hmm, postingan Helena kali ini pake kata Gue. Ga tau kenapa,tp Helena lg kepingin ajaa pake kata Gue.
Oke,nih postingan gue sebelomm natal [siapa bilang sesudah natal?]
Boleh yaaa??

Hmm, sekarang dah tgl 19. 6 hari lagi natal!
Gue sama keluarga gue,dah mulai siap-siap. Bersihin rumah lha,ato beli baju, tp satu yg paling penting, nyiapin hati. Soal nya natal itu ngga bermakna tanpa hati yg tulus dan sukacita[Ciellah,bahasa nyaa].

Hmm,gue, yg terkenal bgt sebagai pemalas di rumah gue, mesti kerja keras. Soal nyaa namboru [sebutan adik papa dalam bahasa Batak] gue yg dari Aussie mo datang. Sibuk gue nyiapin kamar gue, tempat ntar dia tidur.
Nih aja,gue baru beresin buku2 gue yg berantakan abis. Lemari sama dinding yg berdebu juga dah gue bersihin. Tinggal beresin baju-baju di lemari sama nyikat kamar mandi gue. Tapi apes nyaa gue, selama 2 taon, sebagai anak tertua, gara2 kakak gue masuk sekolah asrama yg semi militer dan jaraaang bgt pulang, gue mesti bersihin 2 kamar sekaligus. Kamar gue sama kakak gue. Taon ini,kata papa gue, bakalan banyak tamu yg datang. Soalnyaa, mama gue ninggal taon ini,jd mungkin keluarga besar gue berusaha menabahkan keluarga gue.

Hmm,selama bongkar-bongkar buku-buku gue, gue banyak nemu barang2 lama yg punya banyak arti. Sounds too excessive,but this is the truth. Gue ketemu buku-buku gue pas SMP, ada juga kertas hasil ujian gue [yg nilai nya bagus sama jelek], dan foto-foto lama. Oiya,dalam buku mandarin gue, ada tulisan:

shi tou

tapi sama Pascal ditambahin:
shi[t] tou

ini yg buat gue ngakak,sekaligus teringat pas saat-saat kita belajar bareng.
Oiya,nih barang-barang yg gue temuin:

Pensil yg ada boneka nyaa [gue bilang boneka pensil], kenang-kenangan pas perpisahan SMP dari temen2 gue.

Ada juga:

Tempat pensil yg Pascal beliin.

Hmm,juga ada:

Kalung dari Pascal *bego bgt masi nyimpen

Oiya, gue juga dah pasang pohon natal lhoo,

Oke,sekian dulu postingan dari gue. Gue mo belajar dulu,buat Pre-test TOEFL besok. Besok gue tambah lagi, itu pun kalo gue ngga sibuk beresin rumah.
Bye!

PS:

Gue mo ngucapin thanks bwt Vii,yg dah ngasih gue:

Makasi bgt! Gue link lo yaa!

Woww!

2008-12-17T17:22:00.000-08:00

Pagi semuaa!

Apa kabar hari ini? hopefully baik yaa. Oke,aku sebenernyaa sii ga tau mo nulis apa,tp berhubung aku ga punya kerjaan, maka nyaa aku posting entry ini.

Well,
speaking of raport, aku bener2 takut!
Takut kalo hasil nyaa jelek [halaah,sok pinter; ya pasti iyaaa] dan bwt papa terkejut [baca: kecewa].
Hasil raport ku,ngga mungkin bisa kyk dulu lg.

Oiya,males bgt.
Sabtu ini rencana nyaa ada tes olimpiade di smansa, dan aku pengen bgt ikut olimpiade biologi.
Temen ku bilang,gapapa sii,just tryin'.
Ntar kalo hasil nyaa jelek, kan ga mesti menang.
Tapi org se-bego aku mank bisa,apa?

Oiya,test nyaa di smansa.
Gimana yaa kalo setelah aku tes aku ketemu sama Ronnie Pascal?
Wahh.
Pasti asik tuh.
Aku dah ga ketemu 4 bulan.
Apa kabar dia sekarang yaa?

Pasti cewe baru nyaa cantikk..

Thanks!!

2008-12-15T17:45:00.000-08:00

Weww, i got an award from sino.

Once more,thank you!

Since i know this award has been given to many bloggers,i won't do that again [cuz you've already had it]

Thanks!

2008-12-15T16:28:00.000-08:00

Weww,if i ain't mistaken,this is the fourth award i get. thank you so much for mbak ika gema.

well,here it is:

Someday, everything will make perfect sense.
So laugh at the confusion.. Smile through the tears..
Keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a purpose.
Something to make you smile: if you smile when no one is around, you really mean it.

Smile and be happy!

Thank you for all who have given me awards.

This award is also for:

1. hani

2.nurwita
3.pupuy

4.helena prihastuti

Hmm,i think that's all.

2008-12-12T03:15:00.000-08:00

Weww,I got an award from rollz

Rules:
1. Everyone who get this award are obliged to write their recent love story & these rules in their new post.
2. Everyone who get this award are obliged to tag 7 of your friends who have an unique love story to be shared then they must do what you do as well.

Notes Award:
These award are under license of Cindy Perdana Computeria & Fediani Putri Andarini so you must certify that you have the right to distribute & you do not violate the rules. Contact person: Cindy (candle)/Fediani (hana).

3 taon yg lalu.

The stubborn gal- Helena mulai masa-masa SMP nyaa. Pada masa-masa awal terasa sangat sulit [cielahh,bahasa nyaa ]karena bertemu dengan orang-orang. helena orang yg lumayan bisa berdaptasi, tapi bukan berarti gara-gara itu helena bisa ngelepas sifat childish nyaa.
Starring: Helena Hotmonica

Sekitar bulan September 2005,
Seperti biasa helena ikut program kelas bahasa inggris tambahan. karena ada les bahasa inggris di luar, helena milih biar ganti jam aja. soal nyaa sayang, les bahasa inggris yg buat helena semangat belajar bahasa inggris itu dilewatin. jadi dehh. helena gabung sama kelas 7 yg lain. ternyata ga cuma helena. anak-anak lain juga,yg pada kegiatan milih cara yg sama. ganti jam.

Di sana, helena ketemu sama Corry, temen satu kelas yg terkenal garing. Sedikit informasi yaa, corry ini sodara helena lhoo. mereka sama2 Silalahi [marga batak banyak bgt buat diketahui]. nahh,gara2 sodara-an itu dehh, helena duduk sebangku sama corry.

Pelajaran waktu itu nge-bosenin. karena masi kelas 1 smp, kita pada disuruh buat dialog. dialog yg paling panjang, bakalan dapet nilai paling tinggi. anak2 yang lain, yg kelas nyaa helena ikutin, maap yaa,bukan nyaa nyungging [baca:nyinggung] kurang bisa. soal nyaa mereka dari kelas 7-D. waktu itu helena masuk kelas unggulan 7-A [LEBAY mode on].

Oke,time goes by. helena sama corry dah kedapetan giliran bwt maju, meragain dialog kita. Kata suster killer pengajar bahasa inggris nyaa, "I'm really proud of you,gals. y'ore just junior high students, but you can make it very well."

Weww,kita bangga dongg. Tapi kalo diinget-inget,pas kita ngantri [baca:nunggu] buat giliran kita, kita liat ada anak dari kelas 7-D yg pnya skill bagus bgt di bahasa inggris. anak nya putih. bisa dibilang: ganteng! beneran, helena jd gimanaaa gituuu. dah ganteng, pinter lagi.

Ok, leave the old story guys.

Agustus 2006

Helena naik kelas!

Waahh,dah jadi kakak kelas nih. Ketemu sama temen2 baru. di SMP helena,pnya tradisi kalo juara tiap kelas bakal disatuin di satu kelas unggulan. nah, helena yg waktu itu dapet ranking lumayan, bisa masuk situ . helena ketemu sama temen2 lama yg ga suka sama helena, gara2 selama 1 taon jd classmates, helena pelit. bukan pelit apaan, tp pelit jawaban kalo ulangan. maka nyaa,mereka pada sensi gituu liat helena.

Well,pas perkenalan, agak garing. soal nyaa,yaah, juara tiap kelas kan kita dah tau. tapi ternyata helena ga tau cowo satu ini. cowo yg helena pernah ketemu di kelas tambahan bahasa inggris. pas dia ngenalin nama nyaa,banyak temen-temen helena yg pada neriakin nama cewe cantik di kelas helena. helena bingung, nanya kenapa, truz temen2 bilang, kalo tuh cowo naksir cewe cantik itu.

hilang sudah harapan helena.

Oke, time goes by. his name: Ronnie Pascal. Nah, ternyata dia ini pinter lhoo. helena bingung juga kenapa dulu dia dimasukin ke kelas yg biasa2 aja,bukan kelas unggulan. usut punya usut, ternyata dia anak pindahan. Oo.

Pascal- the way we call him in this story, itu agak kreak. kreak itu bahasa medan. kreak artinyaa belagu. temen helena yg terkenal suka bertengkar aja dilawan. Alhasil, dia pernah dikeroyok gituu sama cowo2 sekelas. helena siih,seneng2 aja. soal nyaa helena benci liat diaa! gara-gara dia,helena gagal jadi utusan olimpiade fisika! soal nyaa,tiap kali ulangan fisika, dia dapet nilai 100 truz. paling cepet lagi keluar kalo dah selesai ujian. pernah satu kejadian, kita sekelas pada ngelemparin dia. helena jadi simpatisan pula itu. ngelempar BOTOL AQUA ke kepala dia,sambil teriak "Mampus,lo!!"

Semester 2, bangku diacak. and guess what, dia duduk di depan helena. agak ga enak juga kalo inget kejadian pelemparan botol aqua itu. tapi ternyata dia gak segituu nyaa. dia baik. mau bantuin helena ngerjain soal fisika sama matematika. oiya,satu hal yg bwt helena suka sama dia selain ganteng dan pinter bahasa inggris, dia juga pinter eksak.

Oke, bilang aku kampungan. tapi aku mo nangis waktu tau dia dah taken. dia pnya cewe,adek kelas. tapi,ga mungkin dongg helena nge-labrak ade kelas gara2 soal ituu aja. cewe nya kan ga punya salah.

Selama jalan sama cewe nyaa,pascal banyak cerita sama helena. curhat kalo cewe nyaa jarang punya waktu buat dia. alhasil, helena jadi dekat sama pascal. helena sama pascal juga mulai sering sms-an. alasan: nanya pe-er. tapi buat helena: pendekatan.

Agustus 2007

Naik kelas! Jadi kelas 3 SMP! helena seneng bgt,soal nyaa dapet ranking 3 dari antara 200 siswa [halaaah,bangga bgt].

Oke, 14 Agustus 2007. KWN ,lomba film dokumenter ttg GLOBAL WARMING yg diadain sama Panasonic, bikin mereka makin deket. soal nyaa, helena masuk tim yg diutus dari sekolah. pascal juga. pascal kedapetan jatah jadi movie-editor, helena jadi apaa yaa? hhahhaha. bagian creative nyaaa.

Selesai lomba. tim sekolah ngga menang, tp ini jadi the most unforgettable experience buat helena di SMP. ini pertama kali nya helena jadi anggota tim yg diutus dari sekolah. kalo lomba atas perseorangan sih,pernah. Tapi yg buat helena seneng, bukan pengalaman jadi movie-maker nyaa, tp gara2 dekat sama pascal.

Usut punya usut, 4 hari setelah pulang dari proses pengambilan gambar bwt movie, pascal putus sama cewe nyaa. malem nyaa langsung nge-sms helena,bilang, "Hel,ada yg mo aku kasi tau ke kamu. Tapi ini rahasia kita." Sayang seribu sayang, helena sudah ngorok, karena waktu itu pascal ngirim sms malem2.

Oke, mereka putus. dan helena sama pascal dapet jatah maen bareng dalam drama bodoh "Anakku,bukan anakku". Kebagian jatah jadi suami istri.

01 September 2007
Tapi ternyata, memang jodoh ga kemana. helena jadian sama pascal! alasannya: helena replaced the old girlfriend.

Jadian sama pascal: masa2 terindah dalam hidup helena [LEBAY mode on]. pascal orang nyaa gokil, pengertian lagi.

satu lagi. he's the only one who stands by helena when she is down!

29 Februari 2008

mama helena meniggal. pascal ambil bagian gede dlm hal bikin helena bounced back. soal nyaa,helena sempet down dan shock, gara2 mama meniggal tiba2. mama cuma sehari di rumah sakit,langsung meninggal.

Juni 2008

anak SMP selesai UN. lulus. tadi nyaa,mereka mo lanjut ke sma yg sama. tapi, gara2 ga dikasi ijin, helena sama pascal, ambil jalan sendiri-sendiri [baca: beda sekolah]. 10 kali putus- sambung [wooww,sounds so terrible,doesn't it?]

Oktober 2008

helena putus sama pascal. penyebab nyaa beda sekolah, lost contact. we're gettin' further and further.

she is a gal who can't be moved.

Malaikat juga tahu,sampai kapan pun helena tetap nunggu dan sayang sama pascal.

PR ini ga buat siapa2. helena kan baik. hhehhehe.

ga dehh. ini buat:

rivai.pupuy.rollz.melskii.lisz.ika hardy.ika gema.

Homework again!

2008-12-12T02:29:00.000-08:00

Hmm,i just got this hw from Lynn,
ok,here we go!

1. nama skul km? SMA Santo Thomas 1 Medan

2. nama ketua kls km? Winner Pasaribu.

3. jabatan km di kls? ga ada. cuma jd anggota, ato ngga petugas piket

4. guru yg paling killer? Voride Situmorang!

5. nama kepsek km? Johannes O. Fian.

6. nama wakepsek km? ga tau. Pembantu Kepala Sekolah (PKS) sii tau nyaa..

7. pernah jd ktua kls? kagak

8. pel yg paling gak sk? KIMIA. Najonggg!!

9. keg rutin km di kls? ngerjain soal, perhatiin guru (jgn kira aku anak baik, ini semua gr2 aku duduk di depan)

10.pernah di skors? nope. Hopefully never!

11.sering di hukum? ngga.

12.sering bwt PR di skul? hmm..kadang.

13.tmpt du2k di atur gak? engga. pilih sendiri. enak nyaa jd murid santo thomas 1

14.no absen km? 24

15.km jurusan IPA/IPS/BHS? blomm ambil jurusan. aku kepingin masuk IPA

16.sk bolos gak? a big no-no for me.

17.sering rame? lumayan lhaa.

18.ad adek kls yg rese? akuadek kelas, masi kelas X ga boleh belagu

19.klo kk kls? ada siih.

20.blh bw hp ke skul? boleh.

21.pernah brantem di skul? ngga,ga mau. i ain't gonna be a trouble maker.

22.pel yg paling km sk? BIOLOGI

23.tmpt fave di skul? DPR (Dibawah Pohon Rindang)

24.ad kantin gak? iyaaa donggg.

25.sk langgar praturan gak? kagak.

26.baju sk di kluarin? ngga. murid taat aturan

27.sk nyontek? hmmm.

28.nama panggilan km di skul? helenaa

29.pesen bwt angkatan di bwh km? jangan mau masuk kelas unggulan! cape belajar!!

30.tag?
rivai.pupuy.rollz.melskii.lisz.

Those Are Going To Be Messed

2008-12-09T05:38:00.000-08:00

Heyy,y'all!
Well, what i want to tell ya is i am really relieved with all i've got today! sounds too excessive,but this is the truth! i was awake the whole nite, just to study [actually it wasn't study, it was "kebut semalam"].

i studied biology, mandarin, and also kewarganegaraan.
imagine, 3 subjects in a nite?
it was sooo tiring, ya know.
about 15 chapters.
to be remembered.
sucks.
whatever those are, i'm happy because the exams had gone! the past is already gone!

hmm,speakin' of the result,idk what to say.
some of 'em were totally bad. remedial. huhh!
physics and also geography.

well,i always ask myself why i am so stupid. i ain't good at goeography, just for the first exams i got A+, but for the second and the semester, it is such a big bullshit for me to get good marks. special for economics, i swear in front of you, guys, i never like that! i've ever thought, "what is this disgusting subject created for?" but after thinking it over, i realized that it was so important.
i regretted it.

btw, i've passed maths!
yepppppppppi!

i know it is so stupid to be proud for scores like 78 cuz one of my friend, who is the smartest in my class, gets 100 in maths.

100.
damn.
how is the method of his learning?
i wonder if i know.

but anyway, i wanna thanks to God, for that result, especially maths. maths was so difficult. many of my friends get lower scores than me, and that's why i'm really really relieved.
i'm not going to be proud just because i pass the test with so-so scores.
but once more, just to say thanks to God.

my indonesian?
once more, thanks God! i passed it!
hmm. i'm happy with the result,because it is not bad at all. quite good.

but if i remember my physics and also geography, which make me mad, i'll be crazy.

hmmm.
the christmas is goin' closer and closer, and i always imagine what my christmas and new year eve will be without my mom.

i miss her.
hey,my bad habit is comin' back.
crying for my mom's death.
try not to cry in ev'ry single day i do without her.

i miss you,mom.
really really miss you.

This Incorrigible Day [is this suitable?]

2008-12-07T05:05:00.000-08:00

Happy Sunday,all!
Well, I think today is a happy day,cuz I do it happily.

Hmm,btw, I just went to a bookstore with my family. When we got home, my lil' sista and my dad read book together. I remember hearing a motto, "read,for a better life" [declared by my teacher]

"like father,like children"

LOL~!

My Saturday Nite

2008-12-06T05:06:00.000-08:00

hallooo!

Well,I just spend my saturday nite alone at home. alone.
My dad and my lil' sister went to a Christmas Celebration near our house. Hmm,I think it's too early to celebrate Christmas now,cuz it's still December 6th, but in general, in Medan,I mean, we've celebrted it since the beginning of December.
And I just here, spend my nite alone.
I have nobody accompany me.
Huhuhuhuhu.
And I browsed some blogs which are fun,and also fascinating.
And took a quiz, got the result like this,

85%

This quiz was provided by Match Special
Free Online Dating

Weeeww!
Well,I think that's true, cuz I always wite my daily activities,and also my daily experiences here, in my blog.
I f I ain't mistaken, I've written a blog for about 10 months.
Woww! I'm easy to be bored,and I think this is so amazing [sounds too excessive,yeahh?]
Cuz I don't think I'm gonna be a blogholic.
Anyway, I think it's only a few people come and visit my blog, and after counting it over, only 20% of 'em leave comments.

It's suck,isn't it?

Guten Morgen!

2008-12-05T18:18:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning at 7 o'clock. Too late,huh?
But,my dad isn't angry with me,cuz he knows that this week is very hard for me. So,he lets me to enjoy my weekend.

Well, speakin' of mornings, I think this morning is really nice.I played with my lil' sister, just like a child [me,not my sister].And then,she got in to the car my dad wanted to drive,and posed like this:

Looks so stupid, rite?

Anyway,after playing with my lil' sister,I had a breakfast.
I ate noodles,exactly, fast food. I know it ain't good,but I did wanted to eat that!

Looks like usual,but after fasting to eat fast food for 'bout 2 months,I really wanna eat it,and I think it tastes good.

Do ya think it's ok to eat fast food ev'ryday?

HW

2008-12-04T22:26:00.001-08:00

I got a homework from Pupuy.

Thanks yaa.

Rules:
1. tag 5 friends (not the one who sent it to you!) [I tag whoever wants to do it]
2. answer all truthfully
3. take it in public!
4. tell all tags on their profile that they have been tagged

Info
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[ ] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ ] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[ ] I wear glasses/contacts.
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[ ] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[x] I'm in school
[ ] I have a job
[ ] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do/did my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ ] I've stolen something from my job.
[ ] I've been fired.

Embarrassment
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[ ] I've snorted while laughing.
[ ] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something.
[ ] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment
[ ] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[x] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[ ] I've had chicken pox.
[ ] I've had measles

Traveling
[x] I've driven over 200 miles in one day
[x] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ ] I've been to Mexico
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ ] I've crashed a car.
[ ] I've been skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[ ] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern lights.
[ ] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[x] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married.
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ ] I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher
[ ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[ ] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[ ] I've run a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[ ] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight
[ ] I've been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol
[ ] I've consumed alcohol
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've smoked weed
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I've eaten shrooms.
[ ] I've popped E.
[ ] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[ ] I've done hard drugs.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[ ] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[x] I've woken up crying.

Death and Suicide
[x] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x] I've seen someone dying.
[ ] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[x] I collect comic books
[ ] I own something from The Gap.
[ ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random
[x] I can sing well.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[ ] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[ ] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[ ] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I love being neat.
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[ ] I bake well.
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[ ] I've worn pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun
[ ] I am in love with love
[x] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes.
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[x] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[ ] I am really ticklish.
[x] I love white chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails.
[ ] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering names.
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Finally,I've done it!

Now,it's their turn:

1.karina
2.reena
3.bani biasa
4.ir.fan
5.dewi zhuo

Happy doing homework,guys!
:)

Sorry for disturbing your days!
LOL~!

Short Update.

2008-12-04T21:21:00.000-08:00

Well,hari ini aku engga tau mo nulis apa. Tapi yang pasti aku seneng banget. Soal nyaa ujian buat minggu ini udah selesai. Memang siih, masi ada 1 hari lagi, hari selasa. Tapi aku udah terlanjur seneng.
Soal nyaa,weekend.
Bisa main2.

Hahahaha.
Ngomong2, selama seminggu engga update blog ini,
aku mo nulis note yang aku buat di facebook. Sounds too excessive,but I do like those words.
Ini diaa:

seringkali dalam hidup ini kita sering kurang mensyukuri apa yang kita dapatkan.
mencoba menyalahkan dimensi waktu tentang apa yang seharusnya terjadi.
mencoba menyalahkan orang-orang yang kita vonis bersalah.
mencoba menjadi tidak realistis, berusaha untuk memutar balik waktu.
berharap seandainya semua hal berjalan dengan baik.
sesuai dengan rencana kita.

dan ketika suatu hal tidak berjalan dengan sesuai dengan keinginan kita,
kita akan menyerah.
mengeluh pada Tuhan.
"Tuhan,mengapa semua masalah ini datang?"
Mencoba mendalami pemikiran Tuhan.

sangat jarang menemukan orang dalam doa nya, mengatakan,
"Tuhan, terima kasih untuk semua hal hari ini. Terima kasih untuk kesenangan,dan juga
masalah ini."
1 diantara sejuta.
kita lebih sering berdoa,
"Tuhan, terima kasih atas hari ini. Semoga masalah itu tidak datang lagi."
itu semua manusiawi.
berusaha untuk menghidari masalah.

padahal sebenarnya,
masalah itu datang untuk menguatkan kita.
membuat kita lebih dewasa dalam hidup.
tapi terkadang,
kita masalah datang bertubi-tubi,
kita lelah.
lelah seperti mengerjakan PR dari guru yang jumlahnya banyak sekali.
lelah ditempah dengan jalan kehidupan kita.

dan ketika kelelahan itu semakin terasa,
maka yang ada adalah keputusasaan.
bagi mereka yang merasa sendirian.

dan bagi mereka yang merasa tidak pernah sendiri,
akan ada kepasrahan.
pasrah dengan apa yang akan terjadi.
percaya sepenuhnya pada Tuhan.
yakin, kalau semua hal indah pada waktunya.

Tuhan,
aku berterima kasih untuk semua hal yang terjadi hari ini.
terima kasih sudah menjadikan aku seorang teman bagi orang lain,
terima kasih sudah menjadikan aku tempat berbagi.
setidaknya untuk satu orang saja.

dan terima kasih,
untuk masalah yang ada hari ini.
masalah yang menguatkan.
masalah yang nantinya akan mendewasakan.

inspired by "Let it be" by the beatles.

Kayaknya kalian smua dahh pada bosen liat aku nulis lagu Let it be -nya The Beatles. Tapi serius, waktu aku ujian, especially waktu ujian yang berbau matematika dan ipa, aku pasrah aja. Pasrah mo gimana lagi. Wong aku enga pinter-pinter amat.
Dan sesuai sama kata-kata ku di atas,aku mo bersyukur buat smua ujian ku. Walaupun itu susaah.

Makasih Tuhan.

PS: Playlist of the month-nyaa aku ganti, soalnyaa agak jadul. Tapi tetep,aku suka lagu itu!

Let it be

2008-11-29T20:51:00.000-08:00

Well,this is the last journal I write before I have tests. Next week,maybe I won't do any blogwalking,because it's my duty to study all nite long. This is the most important test for me,because I won't have any second chance. This really makes me under pressure,cuz you know that I'm not a very smart or brilliant like another girl in my class.

Speakin' of problems, I didn't go to church on Friday,but I did regretted it. My friend said that the priest sang "Let it be" for us,whom are going to face the exams. I really like this song. Here it is:

Let it be - The Beatles

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me,
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me,
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be,
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken-hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see,
There will be an answer, let it be.

Let it be, let it be,
Let it be, let it be,
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me,
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be,
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

I really love this song! Let it be,cuz I know God will help me. I've been sick for about a week,and this really makes me crazy. People told me ev'rything 'bout my sickness,which makes me afraid. I had to learn what I didn't learn when I was absent. And I, Helena Hotmonica, really really have a big worry about my examinations.

But back to the song,let it be.
Cuz I know God will help me.

And this song is playlist of the month.

Let it be..

Hore!!!

2008-11-28T16:52:00.000-08:00

This is my third award. This comes from Mbak Ika Gema.

Thanks yaa.

This makes me confused to choose the winner next. Cuz I've given many awards [hhahahaha].

hmm..

Lemme think for a while.

anyway,once more, thanks!

10 things can make me smile today:

1. get math and biology notes,since I was absent for 3 days, I have to borrow my friend's note.

2.successful chemistry preparation [I'll have a test next week]

3.bisa jalan2 ke SUN Plaza abis pulang bimbel. yeyy!

4. ngumpul sama papa

5. online. ketemu temen lama di FS dan FB.

6.Friend request ku di terima gebetan ku! Yeppi!

7.makan pizza

8.KAKI KU yang KENA AIR PANAS bisa SEMBUH

9.ditembak lagi sama mantan pacar. hhehehehehe.

10. be able to face the next exam.

Yeyy!

2008-11-28T16:43:00.001-08:00

Hehehehe.

Aku dapet award lagi! Kali ini dari mbak pupuy. ini dia:

Gambar nyaa lucu! Makasih yaa..

award ini buat:

1.Chelle
2.karina
3.synna
4.melskii
5.ning carolina.

diambil yaa!

Oiya,sekali lagi, yg dah dapet,kasi komen dongg ke blog helenaa..

Thanks!

2008-11-21T06:38:00.000-08:00

Firstly,

I wanna say thanks for pinkdsweet for giving me these beautiful awards. Thank you so much! These are the first awards for me.

Well,here they are:

Pinkdsweet,once more, thanks yaa. Mbak pink ini [Idk what to cal her] sering mampir di chatbox ku soal nyaa. Hhhehehe. Dan buat ku,mbak ini salah satu best friends di blogger. Makasih yaa dah mo jadi temen ku. Jadi terharu [haalllaah!]

This one,I'm so sorry, but I don't know what this means. But thanks yaa.

Dan yang satu lagi, yang ini makna nyaa apa yaa? Waah,butuh interpretasi niih :P.

Award ini juga buat:

Ika gema . Ika Hardy .Dwikjohn . Helena Prihastuty .VHA .Pupuy . Reena .Nurwita

diambil yaa!

Oiya,yg dah dapet,kasi komen dongg ke blog helenaa..

What a busy week!

2008-11-20T05:35:00.000-08:00

This week is so busy. I went to my course just to discuss my assignment,but none cared.
Huhh! So disgusting.
Anyway, I started to take a class in YPPIA.
The first image that impressed me was situation of the class. We were like family. Unfortunately, I don't really like a gay teacher like my teacher there.

Well,speaking of courses, I was really mad with my teacher, because I was neglected.
I came just to discuss my assignment,but they didn't care.
So I went home with the anger in head.

Hmm..
I got 99 for arts. Hhehehehe. So happy,because they appreciate your work!
So,I made a decision to follow arts class better than before.
Just because I got A+.
:P

LOL~!

Idk what to talk 'bout. But I really miss mommy.
I heard Bunda- by Potret,actually song by Melly Goeslaw,
and it was so touching.

I miss you,mom.

Hmm,have I told ya before?
I follow a English Debate Competition in The University of North Sumatera( USU), but I lost.
We won for 2 rounds,and lost for 1 round.
And that's the worst,because my team didn't get any chance to follow the next round. Anyway,that was a great experience. I didn't have a pray for winning the 2 rounds. But I won.
My friends won the debate,but just as the second winner.
Above those all,they're great.

Hey,I have to do my hw and talk to dad 'bout my raport. See ya!
:)

This Gonna Be A Lonely Week.

2008-11-13T03:38:00.000-08:00

Hari ini nyebelin bgt.
Aku dimarahin yohana,temen ku tanpa sebab. Kata nyaa dia lagi gak mood. Tapi kenapa aku yang kena marahan nyaa? Apa salah ku? Wong tadi pagi aku cuma mau lihat seni rupa dia,koq.
Well,whatever it is,yg pasti hari ini disgusting bgt. Hasil ujian dah dibagi.

And here they are..

Biologi: not bad. pretty good, di atas rata-rata,and surely; aku lulus. Seneng nyaa[orang bego yg seneng gara2 jadi top scorer].

Bahasa Indonesia: memperbaiki ujian bulan lalu. aku lulus! nilai nyaa juga lumayan.
[sampai sini masih seneng].
and the worst:

Ekonomi: nilai ku 35! Ampuun! Nilai F [kali yaa]! Aku ga lulus! Dan yang pasti nyaa ini bakalan nambah daftar dosa ku waktu nanti papa dipanggil sama wali kelas gara2 nilai merah. huhh! Selama aku jadi murid SMA SANTO THOMAS 1 MEDAN,aku ga pernah lulus ekonomi. Malu bgt sih rasa nyaa,tapi yo dah lagh. ini kan my blog ku. my own. jadi suka2 dongg nulis apa di sini.

aku langsung bad mood. ditambha lagi gara2 maless,lagi "diem2an" sama teman sebangku.
Jadi dehh 1 hari ini aku di sekolah,cuma ngomong beberapa kata ajaa.

Pulang sekolah,langsung ke gereja. Persiapan ngambil sakramen krisma. Yang buat nyebelin,tukang beca' yg aku naikin pake acara gombal segala.
Maless liat nyaa.
:(

Bad day.
Aku bener-bener takut kalo papa beneran dipanggil gara2 nilai ku.
Mudah2an ajaa engga.

Liat aja ntar,aku bakal balas dendam ulangan semester nanti.
11 ipa 1,I'm comin'!!

Cayo,semangat!

A Girl Who Can't be Moved

2008-11-11T07:20:00.000-08:00

Hey,I just got this song from my friend. She said that it was suitable for me.
Actually this song is A Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script, but I changed it into A Girl Who Can't Be Moved.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl[boy] can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don't understand,
I'm not...broke I'm just a broken hearted man[girl],
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Policeman says son[lil' girl] you can't stay here,
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she[he] changes her[his] mind this is the first place she[he] will go.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

People talk about the guy[girl]
Who's waiting on a girl[boy]...
Oohoohwoo
There are no holes in his[her] shoes
But a big hole in his[her] world...
Hmmmm

and maybe I'll get famous as man[girl] who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the corner...
Cos you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man[girl] who can't be moved
I'm the man[girl] who can't be moved...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
[Repeat in background]

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move.
-End-

[]:I replace those words

Ooh.
I wish he read this.
I'm a girl who can't be moved.
'til the end of my life.
I don't care what people say.

For him,to whom I belong.
Ronnie Pascal Hutabarat.
Will you be back?

Hmm.

2008-11-09T04:06:00.000-08:00

Hah,hari ini capek banget. Gimana engga,pulang gereja langsung lari-lari nyari surat baptis kak monic biar dia juga bisa ikut sakramen krisma. Finally,ketemu juga,truz aku sama papa buru-buru ngantar tuh surat sama pengurus gereja. Setelah itu lunch,truz cari baju buat acara sakramen krisma. 4 jam muter-muter 3 mall,akhirnya dapet juga. Gile,gempor nih kaki!

Pulang dari sana,aku mandi truz tidur bentar. Oiya,aku juga mo minta maaf buat mbak ika gema,soal nyaa gak jadi OL bareng buat bagusin layout ku. Sorry ya mbak,bukan gara2 ga mau,tapi gara2 mendesak.
Tadi aku sempet juga tidur, seblom tidur aku masih sempet denger lagu D'Massive, Merindukanmu.

Saat aku tertawa diatas semua
Saat aku menangisi kesedihanku

Aku ingin engkau selalu ada
Aku ingin engkau aku kenang

Selama aku masih bisa bernafas
Masih sanggup berjalan ku kan slalu memujamu
Meski ku tak tahu lagi engkau ada dimana
Dengarkanlah aku ku merindukanmu

Saat aku mencoba merubah segalanya
Saat aku meratapi kekalahanku

Aku ingin engkau selalu ada
Aku ingin engkau aku kenang

Hmm,jadi sedih. Inget sama pascal soalnyaa. Gimana kabar dia sekarang yaa? Tapi yang pasti dia ngucapin thanks buat testi yg aku kirim di friendster-nya. Serius,meskipun aku sama dia dah putus 2 bulan lalu,sampe sekarang aku masih pengen jadi temen nyaa. Lebih malah. Pengen kaya dulu lagi. Pengen diperhatiin.
Masih merasa sedih dan jealous waktu tau dia udah sama cewek lain.
Hiks..hiks..

Meskipun sekarang aku lagi naksir sama temen satu sekolah ku,tp tetep aja aku ga bisa ngelupain dia. Kenapa yaa? Apa karena cinta pertama?
Ahh,aku 'mah gak percaya kalo orang bilang gitu[used to].
Tapi sekarang percaya,soal nyaa dah ngerasain.

Aku rindu sama dia.
Pengen kayak dulu lagi.
Ngerjain pr bareng,pulang bareng,sms-an.
Ahh,
tapi mungkin sekarang dia udah gitu sama cewe lain.

Ahh,jadi inget sama sms nya yg masih ku simpen:

Ngga,setiap orang punya masa terpenting dalam sepanjang hidup nya. Kamu juga kayak gitu. Kamu itu bunga-bunga kehidupan yang gak akan pernah layu dalam hati ku,yang bakal selalu ku jaga. Aku bukan orang yg sabar,tapi kamu buat aku jadi orang yang sabar.

HAHAHAHAHA!
Konyol bgt. Tapi aku suka.
Mungkin jg dia udah lupa sms ini.

Udah lah.
Aku mau belajar.

Free Personal signatures - cool!

2008-11-08T09:03:00.001-08:00

TEXTAREA_ID

Pe-er II

2008-11-08T07:47:00.000-08:00

Hey,I just got a new homework from dewi zhuo
so,I'll do it.
here we go,guys!

Six Random Things About Me:
1. I hate school*terms and condition apply
2. I like maths very much,and uhm..quite good at it(sounds too pride?)
3.I hate people who talk behind my back. the first rule for me.
4. I don't like Barrack Obama
5. I like talking 'bout politics
6. I have a big dependence on people who are close to me.

Six Random Things I Like:
1.just like dewi zhuo, my laptop (but I use it rarely)
2. my cell phone,SE K610i, not the newest one,but I do like it. Mommy bought it for me. I wouldn't like to buy the new one,altough I want it some times.
3.martabak and also pizza,really make me wanna grab 'em rite now.
4. being acceptable.
5.being a center of attention (this shows how childish I am,but as the time goes on, I do believe,you don't need much attention anymore)
6.my blanket. I won't sleep if I don't use this.

Six Random Things I Don't Like:
1. STEP MOTHER! my mom's passed away, and some people suggest my dad to get marry again.
I'll never want a step mother,and I ain't kidding.
2. low/bad score. I'll stay awake all nite long just to achieve a high score.
3.pride people, I used to be pride people,but as the times goes on,I changed. Time makes me better. Being humble,the main key to the best friendship.
4.being far from my family.
5.homeworks. The goverment should pass the law to reduce the number of homework students must do ev'ry nite. LOL~!
6. being broke. I'm not a economical girl,so I need much money to be spent.

6 Quirky Things About Me:
1.I'm not tall enough.
2.I don't like being neglected. Seriously,this really makes me angry.
3.when people are tryin to use skinny jeans, I stay with my old fashion- style.
4.I'm bad at English.
5.I'm always hungry while following the lessons, and maybe, that's why I can't understand what the teacher talks about.
6. I'm a lil' nerdy girl, hardly ever go to cinema.
so,you're goin to laugh just because of this?

6 Things That Make Me Happy:
1. meeting mommy.
(sounds impossible)
2.full scholarship
3.ability so I can be smart. LOL~! what's this?
4.new ipod
5.money
6.slim body.

Pe-er

2008-11-07T20:08:00.000-08:00

Aku dapet pe-er dari mbak fransiska sama mbak VHA.
but firstly,aku mo ngerjain pe-er dari mbak VHA
dulu.
here we go!

the rules:

1.Each blogger must post these rules
2. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their ten things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose ten people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’ve been tagged and to read your blog.

In Indonesian:
1. Setiap Blogger WAJIB memuat peraturan ini
2. Setiap Blogger memulai dengan 10 fakta/kebiasaan tentang dirinya
3. Blogger-Blogger yang dibubuhi tanda perlu untuk menulis tentang diri mereka di blognya sendiri mengenai sepuluh fakta/kebiasaan mereka dan memuat peraturan ini. Pada akhir blog, kamu perlu memilih sepuluh orang untuk dibubuhi tanda dan daftar nama mereka
4. Jangan lupa meninggalkan komentar untuk mereka yang ditandai dan undang mereka untuk membaca blog kamu.

My answers:

10 fakta/ kebiasaan tentang Helena:

-nama lengkap helena: helena hotmonica hastuty silalahi
[too many to mention,rite? but this is the truth!]
as you see,I'm a bataknese. batak tulen!

-anak kedua dari 3 bersaudara. semua sodara helena cewek.
makanyaa,dulu orang nyuruh papa&mama ku ambil adek cowo,biar keturunan/ marga batak gak abis.
sebel!!

-paling benci makan sayur! najong!
ga tau knp,aku suka muntah kalo makan sayur. mama ku sampe nge-jus sayur brokoli dulu.
huekkk! mau muntah!!

-sering begadang. bukan gara2 pengen,tp banyak PR!
huhh! gak tanggung2 'tuh pe-er.
tiap hari minimal ada 2 pe-er.
berlembar-lembar pula ntu.
belakangan,kayak nya aku malah kena insomia.

-suka sekalii minum jus apel..
benci makan sayur,tp suka bgt makan buah.

-kalo kecapekan sering nangis.
gilee nih fakta.
but seriously,aku gitu orang nyaa.
ga tau kenapa.

-suka baca.
buku pelajaran, novel,komik.
yg penting memperluas wawasan.
[halaah!]

-sering laper.
padahal aku dah makan teratur lho!
maka nyaa aku sering cari makanan malem2.
sikat abiss 'tuh kulkas!!

-suka makan martabak dan pizza!
serupa tapi tak sama,hhhehehe.
papa ku sering bilang,
"kan bagusan martabak,"
biar murah maksudnyaa.
=]

-terobsesi jadi langsing!!!
badan ku gendut bgt!
huhh!

finally,selesai juga.
hehehehe.

pe-er ini juga kupersembah kan untuk[bahasa nya ituu]:
1.dwikjohn
2.ika hardy
3.yaz
4.ika gema
5.helena prihastuti
6.pupuy
7.denny
8.princ
9.ajeng
10.cewekndeso

maap dah ngerepotin.
dikerjain yaa pe-er nyaa.
=]

Ujiann..

2008-11-06T02:52:00.000-08:00

Kalo orang bilang life is easy, aku gak setuju. Bukti nyaa masih banyak orang yang hidup susaah. LOL!
Termasuk aku,selama 4 hari ini. Bukan nyaa gara2 duit.tapi ujian yg melanda. Ampuun! Susaah bgt!

Senin, 03 November 2008.
Ujian Sosiologi dan Fisika.
Sumpaah, sosiologi nyaa mudah bgt! Baru ngerjain 25 menit aja dah selesai [sombong nih]. Tapi gituu dibagi-in soal fisika,ampuun! Susahh! Aku takut 5 soal yang kujawab,salah rumus. Mudah2an engga,yaa.
Hopefully:).

Selasa,04 November 2008.
Ujian Pkn dan Kimia
Nahh,ini dia ujian yang mengocok perut! Aku ketiduran semaleman,jadi totally-gak belajar. Alias otodidak. Kalo kimia sih,kaya' nya aku bisa,tapi ada 1 soal yg aku lupa baca petunjuk nyaa. Nilai ku bakal berkurang dehh,gara2 ga sesuai sama yg diminta.

Rabu,05 November 2008
Ujian Matematika dan Agama
hellashit! Udah belajar seharian,tapi gak ngerti juga. Sriuz,ujian matematika ku ancur bgt. Padahal,aku ngerti koq matematika nya,cuma gara2 gugup aja[ngebela diri nihh=P]. Mudah2an lulus [amiinn].

Kamis,06 November 2008
Ujian Bahasa Mandarin dan Biologi.
I'm totally goin' crazy!!
Gilee, pengawasnyaa longgar bgt. Sebagaimana udah disepakati di sekolah ku, ujian formatif pun harus kayak ujian semesteran. Pake pengawas sgala,lagi. Ribet. Tapi gilee, pengawas nyaa longgar bgt!
Hhhehehe,temen2 ku malah ada yg sampe tuker-tukeran jawaban. Bebas! Aku juga ikut sii =P.
Inikah kami,wajah2 anak kelas unggulan kelas X?
Hahahahaha!

Dan besog,udah dipasti-in kalo pengawas nyaa ketat.
Hmm.Aku cuma punya 1 harapan. Lulus di mata pelajaran ipa sama matematika. Gak muluk2,
nilai B jg dah seneng koq. Walau pun sedih, nilai A yg bulan lalu ku pamerin sama papa, mungkin ga ada lagi di rapor ku bulan ini.
Aku udah gagal.

Belajar untuk jadi lebih baik.
:(

Maless Belajar!

2008-11-02T00:21:00.000-07:00

Aduh,bsog ujian bulanan dah mulai.
Maless bgt belajar.
Tapi pengen dpt nilai bgs.
Hiks..hiks..
Perjuangan mencapai cita-cita.

Ya udah lhaa.
Aku mau belajar.

Happy Sunday,all!

2008-11-01T23:03:00.000-07:00

Hahh.

I just came back from my church,celebrated the holy Sunday.
Hari minggu ini jadi hari minggu yg spesial,soal nyaa hari minggu ini hari mengenangkan saudara-saudari yang telah meninggal. Weww. Jadi sedih kalo inget mama. Apalagi waktu intensi misa dibacain.
Sedih rasanyaa kalo inget smua nasehat mama,apalagi kalo inget saat-saat bareng mama. Waktu datang buat nonton perayaan natal Kak Monic,waktu jalan-jalan ke Parapat, dan bahkan waktu bertengkar [yg satu ini paling sering].
Jadi rindu.
Dulu sih,waktu mama masih ada,pengen nyaa ngelawan terus. Tapi yaa,nama nyaa juga manusia,pasti nyesel kalo udah terjadi.Apalagi kalo disuruh nemenin mama,maless nyaa minta ampunn.

Mama ku orangnyaa sih lumayan pengertian. Dia tau kalo aku kecapekan les waktu kelas 3. Maklum laah,mau UN. Jadi kalo temen2 yg lain cerita tentang gimana asik nyaa pergi bareng ke salon sama mama mereka,aku sih cuma denger-denger aja. Bukannya gak pernah pergi ke salaon bareng mama,tapi gak sesering temen2 ku.
Apapun itu,tiap kali aku pergi sama mama,mama pasti sering gandengin tangan nyaa sama tangan ku. Dulu siih kesel. Kayak anak kecil aja. Tapi sekarang,baru aku tau kalo itu salah satu rasa sayang mama.
Aku rindu pegangan tangan sama mama..

Mama cerewet. Terkadang sensi dan nyebelin. Soal nyaa pas kakak ku deket sama temen sekelas nyaa,mama langsung ambil ancang-ancang,bilang kalo Kak Monic gak boleh pacaran. Hehehehe. Ntar aja dijodohin,jangan pacaran,kata nyaa .
Dasar ibu-ibu.

Tapi,kalo inget saat-saat aku bertengakar sama temen ku,mama pasti mau dengerin cerita ku. Semenjak aku kelas 5 SD,jadi malu mo cerita. Ntar dikira masih anak kecil. Ngadu. Tapi aku memang masih mau ngadu. Apalagi,waktu bulan Oktober taon lalu, waktu aku dapet masalah. Kalo diitung-itung,itu saat terkahir aku curhat sama mama. Waktu itu mama bilang,dalam hidup pasti ada masalah. Aku pengen curhat tentang masa-masa SMA ku. Seandainyaa mama ada,pasti masa SMA bakal beda.
Tapi,toh aku harus yakin kalo mama udah tenang di sana.

Yakin,kalo mama udah dapat yang terbaik.
Pasti.

Whoaa!

2008-10-31T07:01:00.000-07:00

Life's goin crazy,and idk where to go. who's goin to be blamed. Ahhahaha. LOL!
I just complained all day about my tests on monday.
OMG,this is the hardest week for me.

The test.
I haven't prepared myself. I hate this.
Ahh,what am I supposed to do?
I don't wanna be repimanded again and again by my dad.
Huhh.
I wish I got A+ in 14 subjects without studyin a lot.
Ahhhahaha!

Ooo,c'mon.
Where's my old Helena?
The old helena who likes to challenge herself.

Well,let's raise another topic.
I'm in love with a boy next door.
Ahhahahha!
He's not a boy next door,but a boy next class,
..

Ahhaha.
How can I make him get outta my mind?

Dilema org jatuh cinta.
[once more]Ahhahahaha.

Fuuihh!!!

2008-10-30T06:16:00.000-07:00

Belom ajaa ujian formatif ke-2,tapi aku dah stress gini. Gimana engga,tes bahasa Jerman ku gak bisa sebagus bulan lalu =[. Hanya kekuatan doa yg bisa menyelamatkan ku dari nilai B. aku mau nilai A..
[sangat berharap]

Akhir-akhir ini,aku stress. Gara2 gak 'ngeh' fungsi kuadrat lhaa,ato gara2 hukum Newton yg ntah gimana ntu. Capek mikirin nyaa. Tapi,aku yakin koq aku bisa waktu tes nanti [optimis,seolah2 mau menghadapi SPMB].
Tugas sekolah juga banyak,ada tugas seni rupa,membuat gradasi warna yg harus ngeluarin banyak duit buat beli cat poster, tugas bahasa mandarin, ngerjain han yu pin yin 4 bab. Gila tuh lao shi..

Fiuhh! Capek juga. Apalagi setelah online,harus belajar lagi. Kimia,fisika,matematika,harus dipelajarin smua. Aduhh,kapan sih pembagian jurusan? Aku ini sok optimis,berharap bisa masuk jurusan ipa. Padahal,kemampuan pas2an...
Derita anak bodoh.

Oiya badan ku lagi gatal2 nih. Gara2 mandi pake air hujan. Sialaannn! Tadi pagi,pas subuh, hujan deras bgt. Trus,penampungan air terendam sama air hujan. Alhasil,air nyaa coklat abiss!!

Opung yg suka bgt nampung air kalo hujan [kerjaaan nyaa nihh], nyiapin ember bwt nampung air. Berguna juga sih. Soalnyaa,air hujan yg ditampung gak se-'butek' air penampungan. Derita punya penampungan air bawah tanah. Jadi dehh,mandi pake air hujan yg dimasak dulu. Tapi sekarang,dah mulai terasa nih,,
gatell.
Pa,kapan sih, penampungan air kita diperbaikin?
Badan ku udah gatalll!!

Badan gatal, banyaak pe-er, tes yg 'menunggu', dan..
aauk ahh,
garuk dulu.

=P

Untitled

2008-10-27T23:02:00.000-07:00

Two days ago,my family and I went to the dentist for doing my younger sista' check up. She was afraid of the doctor,and cryin'. My dad was frustrated to make her do what the doctor asked her to do. I got closer to her,and told her, "A good girl will through these all without cryin". She stopped. And then shouted "Mommy!" for several times.

The doctor was very suprised. Knowing my mom's passed away,give her a view about our family. She stopped,and then said," I won't do anything for you".
Damn! My sister was almost doing what she asked to do.
Finally,after waiting for about an hour, she finsihed her check up.
She told my dad,"Dad,I'll tell opung and also mommy what I've experienced today".

I wish my mom was here, heard what she just said.

And when we arrived at home, she run quickly to my oppung (oppung means grandma). My oppung laughed when she saw my sister's tooth.
LOL!!
"She finally do it," she said.

I closed the door,and then thought for a while.
What will happen to this lil' girl when she's growing up?

Ooh mom,I wish you were here,watched these all..

No More Fake Friends

2008-10-26T01:17:00.000-07:00

I just came back from my church,celebrated the Holy Sunday. I got a new spirit. All you have to do is love your friends. your sisers and brothers,and even love your enemies just like we love ourselves. Yeahh. I do agree,we all have to love our friends and family. But how about your enemies?? Am I mistaken 'bout that?
Most of us don't do it,rite?

Speaking of loving your enemies, have you ever felt like be killed softly by your friend? I mean your friends talk behind your back just to get any sympathy from your another friend. Just to get any sympathy? Oo,c'mon!
Fake friends is usually happenned in this case. Don't want a fake friend? Just check your friends, if they're friends indeed. Friends indeed:
1. support the best for you.
2. tell the truth 'bout you,but it doesn't mean she wants to disappear your spirit. Some friends accidentally told negative 'bout you,to disappear your spirit.
3. know you further than everyone does.

Jealous!

2008-10-25T04:54:00.000-07:00

Punyaa pacar ituu enaak yaa..Soalnyaa aku baru aja liat2 profil fs temen2 ku, isi nyaa rata2 tentang jatuh cinta truz baru jadian... Rasanyaa dunia cuma milik berduaa.
Ohooii!

Ngomong2 soal pacar,apa kabar yaa,sii kutu kumpret yg udah ninggalin aku itu? Apa dia masih kayak dulu? Salah2 ngomong sama dia,bisa buat ge-er. Ntar dikirain masih suka (sebenarnya sih masih suka sekalii=[). Tapi kata orang2 dulu,anak kecil gak boleh pacaran. 15 tahun masih termasuk anak kecil yaa??

Speaking of love, apa cinta itu gak harus memiliki ya? Soalnya banyak orang bilang gitu. Tapi aku sih gak setuju (ketahuan childish-nyaa aku =P). Kan gak asik,liat orang yg kita lagi jalan sama orang lain..
Uhhuhuui..

Apalagi dia,yg gak tau sekarang gimana kabar nya. Mungkin dah banyak berubah. Dah gak kayak dulu lagi. He's totally changed. Dan jujur,rasa nya gak enak. Gak ada lagi 'temen' yg enakk buat diajak seru-seruan, gak ada lagi yg bisa dimintain bwt ngajarin fisika, ato gak ada lagi temen curhat. Huhh! Kayak nyaa koq aku nyesel bgt yaa? 'Toh dia gak terlalu baik koq. Aku sering nyoba bwt ngibur diri pake kata2 ini. Tapi gak berhasil juga.
Padahal,tadi aku baru majalah yg isinyaa cara bwt ngilangin rasa sakit hati.
Tapi,dari semua cara,aku yakin gak ada yang bisa aku terapkan dengan sukses.

Oohhoi cintaaa...
=[
aku rindu pascal.
♥

Hello,is there anything left to learn about??

2008-10-23T04:02:00.000-07:00

Hey,I just came back from bookstore, looked for a newspaper. I have to write all the titles in the newspaper in a big piece of paper! So silly! Just because I've made 2 mistakes while reading the whole journal in Indonesian class.
I hate Indonesian class!
And even while posting this, I haven't done it! I have to do my homework!
Doesn't he think that I'm so busy?
Taking some courses, following 17 lessons in my school, doing my homeworks, and so on.
Hey man, I'm not your maid!

Huhh!!
Hate this!
Is there anything left to learn about??
Why do we have to learn about those fuckin titles,huhh?